Update Date

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news

WORK

I don’t even want to go there. Not only have I had to retain the services of an attorney due to scary threats and excessive abuse from a mad client; but my increase was … wait for it … not declined … but decreased. That’s a first.

KIDS

I have so much news regarding Angel. since the beginning of the year she’s had high schools in the area [two of them Private] falling over themselves to get Angel to register with their schools for Grade 8 last year. I can’t begin to tell you how many dinners, information evenings and tours we have been to.

She turned down the all girls Catholic school, which was my first choice. what parent wouldn’t want their daughter at a Convent. With no boys.

Angel did however agree to write the entrance exam at the other private school – which judging by the school fees, is even more prestigious. They invited approximately 100 kids from local schools in the area, with the view to offering 5 scholarships.

Naturally she was called back, and asked to sit for additional academic exams; which she aced. Cos that’s how she rolls!

Thereafter she was invited , with approximately 40 other kids, to write the psychometric tests. And then we waited.

And waited.

And finally we received an invitation for Angel to have an interview with the Director of the School, Head of High School, Director of Academics and two other teachers [can’t remember their titles].

It was rather intimidating, as Angel is not the most outgoing girl at the best of times, let alone having to conduct a formal interview with five strangers who could decide her fate!

In the interim, my alma mata offered her guaranteed entry into the school – noting that we don’t live in the feeder area and she’s supposed to go to the local high school; otherwise face a very lengthy waiting list.

they only accept 150 students for Grade 8 – and they’ve already received applications from over 500 kids! Yikes. It’s definitely my first choice in terms of government schools, the new principal [my old phys ed and guidance teacher] has turned the school into one of the top in the district.

The local high school [where Star was expelled from] is a definite no-no. If it was bad then, it’s downright dodgy now. The kids do drugs at school – never mind smoke cigarettes around the corner; and I think the police spend more time there than at the station.

Finally we received an email from the Private School offering Angel a 65% scholarship. A fantastic opportunity granted … but even with only 35% portion of the school fees, it’s still out of my reach. Hell, it’s almost the amount of my bond!

I haven’t completely written it off though, as I don’t want Angel to lose this opportunity which she has rightfully earned and very, very much deserves. And in view of the fact that my earnings keep decreasing … well. Ja.

I’ve chatted to my folks who will see how they can assist financially, and if Angel’s father could finally come to party, albeit 12 years late; they would help immensely. I’m just no sure I can rely on him, even if he does commit. It’s not like he’s said a cent in maintenance since she was born.

Dammit.

Anyway, so we’re going to apply at my old high school just to secure her place in case we don’t come up with the money for the private school. And Angel would be only too happy to go there, as most of her friends will be attending.

Star has settled into his new job, which he started in January. Sent his CV one day, had an interview the next, and started the day thereafter. Cos that’s how he rolls! he’s not exactly passionate about his work, but is loving the monthly salary, especially as he has now started earning commission too.

He’s managed to buy himself quite an impressive home gym, a wardrobe full of clothes, and his girl friend has been showered with gifts. Not to say that I haven’t been spoilt too, because my darling son never forgets his Mommy.

LOVE LIFE

Well I’ve certainly provided blow-by-blow commentary on one of my crushes, Kevin; and I don’t particularly spilling the beans on the others just yet.

I will just offer a teaser …

One of them is not a single daddy from Scouts; however he is very much my type: young, intelligent, well-built, witty, abso-fucken-lutely gorgeous – exhibiting off of those qualities in excess I might add. Especially the youth. *gulp* which is why is not a viable option.

And unlike Kevin Crush, who I’m too shy to talk to; I have no such qualms with this youngster. I flirt outrageously – as does he – and to be honest I can’t really class him as a crush – there are no school-girl feelings here. The knees are just fine – it’s the loins we need to watch out for.

As for the others …

No, I’ve already said too much.

~ ♥ ~

Scouting For My Crush

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woman in car

I spent the five minute drive back to the school alternating between fear that Kevin would still be there and think me some psycho stalker; and hopeful that he would be there so that I could have another perve gander.

So it was with mixed feelings that I found his bakkie gone when we arrived in the parking.

Angel went in search of her illusive backpack, and while I was alone in the car, Kayla’s boyfriend Adrian came running up to my open window with a big smile on his face.

“What’s up A?”

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“My father-in-law and I now have something to talk about!”

“Hey?”

“YOU!”

“What were you guys saying about me?”

“Can’t tell you. Bro’s code.”

“Whatever, don’t make me tell your father-in-law your intentions with his daughter! Tell me now!”

“Ok, so he told Kayla and me that he really wanted to speak to you tonight, but he says you gave him a dirty look when you got out your car, but then smiled at him when he was in front of people, so thought maybe tonight wasn’t the time or the place to make his move.”

“Hmmm, what else?”

“Nah, that was it.”

“Liar. Spill.”

“Ok, so I told him that the camp would be a good opportunity for him to get to know you because you won’t be on a date so none of you’s will be shy. And you have three whole days and nights to get to know each other.”

“Haha. What else?”

“I told him to take you for a walk at night to the abandoned clubhouse”

[might I add that that this is a glassed and stilted look-out spot over the water where the teenagers go to to make-out!!!]

“But he said he’d never do that coz he doesn’t want you thinking he’s some rapist trying to have his way with you.’

“Hahaha, well thank god for that!” 

[actually, I quite liked the idea of a moonlit romantic stroll along the dam shore to the old clubhouse. I’d naturally be cold in the chilly evening, and Kevin would offer his jacket to keep me warm, and then … WAKE UP FROM YOUR REVERIE HARMONY!]

“Ah Harmony, this is so sweet. Just think, one day you’ll be my step-mother in-law.”

“Funny A, dream on boy. Call Angel, I want to go home.”

Did I mention that I get to see Kevin again tomorrow night, before and after Scouts? Although that’s when I’m at my shyest, as I’m in full uniform [but perhaps he has a thing for a girl in uniform?*] and I’m in my zone with the kids. I feel quite uncomfortable when “outsiders” watch me during Scouting proceedings.

* My uniform is the furtherest thing from sexy, I assure you. A shapeless white short-sleeve button-down shirt [and I was given a rather size in order to hide the tattoo’s on my arms – so the sleeves come down to my elbow]; dark blue chinos [I couldn’t for the life of me find a woman’s pair, so I purchased a pair from the boys section. And again, no shape.

Then there’s my black and yellow scarf, tied with a white lanyard around my neck and connected to my left breast pocket.  Did i mention that the top is so big you wouldn’t even know I was sporting double-dees? then further south are the mandatory black socks and black and white all-stars [although my pair are a Pep rip-off – can’t afford the real mccoy.]

On Sunday’s when we go to Harties or on other public outings, we wear what is referred to as our Seconds. This is a pair of blue jeans [mine = tight, sexy], plain black T-shirt [ditto] and scarf with woggle, with same socks and shoes.

We also have to wear this uniform when we go on camps. Of course I rebel, because I’m not comfortable in jeans, and prefer to live in dresses, so the minute I’m on the boat – it’s bikini and short summer dress all the way!

On Monday’s for Test Passing we can wear civvies, and since I go straight from work, I’m in business attire. The same goes for Wednesdays for Canoe Polo. the kids are obviously in cozzies, but since I’m not joining in the fun [sailing is my water sport] I’m in whatever I wore for work that day.

I just wish we had sailor hats like the other Sea Scouts Troops do. I think I could definitely rock that hat! Unfortunately it was found that the kids lost them too often, and as they are quite costly, our Troop scratched them from the uniform. Darn those irresponsible blighters.

~ ♥ ~

Crush Going Swimmingly

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shy couple

Sore head? What sore head? More like light-headed!

I arrived late at the swimming pool last night where canoe polo was being held, as I first had to fetch Star from work, organise dinner [3 x pizzas], buy a loaf of bread from the corner cafe and drop Star and the food at home.

Upon my arrival at the school I noticed a few vehicles in the parking lot, but because it was dusk and my eyesight ain’t what it used to be, I could not make out whether any of them were occupied.

Until I alighted from the Feisty Fiesta with Angel’s porky pizza in hand, and I then noticed that there was a man sitting in a white bakkie behind me, but I couldn’t make out his identity.

Fearing for my safety – especially considering I was in the dodgy side of my ‘hood – I made a mad dash through the gate and second parking lot to reach the swimming pool area, with a quick fearful glance behind me.

Due to the cold weather and water, the kids had already finished training and were busy tipping canoes to empty them of water; so I joined the other Scouter, Paul, so that we could discuss plans for our next upcoming sailing camp [# 3 for the year!].

We’ve decided to invite parents to this camp, so that they can see what their kids get up to, as well as give the folks an opportunity to join in with the sailing and other water sports.

Whilst talking to Scouter Paul, parents of a scous joined us, as they have kindly offered us the use of several large tents to house everyone over the long weekend. The mom and I were chatting about our camping experiences [mine are limited to the Scouting trips] when who should join us …

Kevin!

I was too shy to even turn to greet him, so I pretended that I hadn’t seen him and continued talking to the mom about tent poles and other camping accessories, however that didn’t stop me from eavesdropping on his conversation with Scouter Paul.

Seems Kevin will be providing us with all the meat for the camp [could he be a butcher?] as he is able to get everything at cost price, and with the number of confirmations steadily rising, we need to keep the costs to a minimum in order to make the camp affordable for all.

With a lull in my own conversation I had no choice but to turn and face the guys, and offer Kevin a greeting.

Thank the gods it was dark so no-one could see me blushing [I’ve turned into a 12-year old] because the moment he said my name, I went blood red. And my cheeks stayed rosy for quite some time.

After we said our shy hi’s, everyone stood in a circle just looking between Kevin and I, who were just staring at each other with stupid grins on our faces.

OMG talk about embarrassing! I couldn’t look away because he was beaming that knee-weakening smile, and he didn’t look away because … well he’s clearly smitten [hahahaha – modest much Harmony?]

Cold kids wanting to go home thankfully broke the spell, and we all walked towards the parking outside the pool area. Before getting to the gate though, the mom pulled me aside and against the wall.

“Harmony, what have you done to Kevin?”

“Huh? What you talking about?”

“Don’t talk kak – you have the poor man tongue-tied and that’s not like him.” 

[I wouldn’t know, as I don’t know him socially – as she and her hubby do].

“Tash, I really don’t know what you mean. I’ve never even spoken to Kevin!”

“Ja ja, a blind man can see there’s something going on between the two of you.”

*blush*

By now Kevin had already walked away, without so much as a goodbye [boo hoo], however his daughter Kayla and her boyfriend had lagged behind, waiting for me. She put her arm through mine and blurted:

“So my Dad really likes you, but Angel told me that you’re shy, so now he’s scared to ask you out because he doesn’t want to be shot down.”

*gobsmacked*

“Whhhhhhaaaaat? Since when does he like me?”

“I dunno, but he told me after the Christmas camp that he likes you and wanted to ask you out on a date.”

Our conversation was cut short, as one of the other single dads was driving through after having collected his kids, and stopped to have a chat to me about the camp, which is also really looking forward to attending. Something about getting up to mischief and sailing with me.

I cut our conversation short, as I wanted to get to the top parking lot before Kevin and Kayla drove off … can’t turn down one last look, can I – especially in light of Kayla’s revelation!

I had nothing to fear. Not only were they still in the parking area, but Kevin was leaning against his car, with arms folded and one leg resting on the bumper.  All he was missing was a stetson, and he’d have made quite the rugged cowboy. Generally not my type at all – I like the young pretty boys … but … my interest is clearly piqued.

As luck would have it, when I approached my car, Kayla and her boyfriend; who’d also been standing next to the bakkie talking to Kevin, all turned to face me. With three pairs of knowing eyes on me, I dashed to my own car, and with shaking hands unlocked it and climbed in; shouting for Angel and Angie [a senior scout I give a lift home to] to hurry up and get in.

With much laughter [from them – clearly aware of the unfolding situation], they finally got in the car, and wound down the windows to ensure that Kevin was privvy to the embarrassing conversation going on inside the vehicle. I’d wind the windows back up, and they’d promptly roll them down again. Trying to control windows and unruly teenagers had me stalling the car.

I don’t know what Kevin must’ve thought – giggling girls, windows up and down, car unable to move. Eish.

When I finally got the car started and turned to leave, we had to drive past Kevin et al, and if that bugger Angie didn’t lean over and press my hooter, bringing even more attention to myself!

I was rewarded with a smile and wave though, even if I didn’t return them myself.

Once we were out of sight, I too burst out laughing at the silliness of it all. Until we arrived home and Angel realised she had left her bag at the swimming pool, and we had to go back …

~ ♥ ~

The Days Just Seem So Dark

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WARNING: Do not watch this music video if you are feeling emo or possibly pmsing. The viewing has left me terribly teary-eyed and horribly heart sore, and feeling even more sorry for myself than I was this morning.

SAM SMITH ~ LAY ME DOWN

Yes, I do, I believe

That one day I will be
Where I was right there
Right next to youAnd it’s hard
The days just seem so dark
The moon, the stars
Are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin
Where do I begin?
No words can explain
The way I’m missing you

Deny this emptiness
This hole that I’m inside
These tears
They tell their own story

Told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright
I’ll take care of you
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I’m reaching out to you
Can you hear my call?
This hurt that I’ve been through
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy

You told me not to cry when you were gone
But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright
I’ll take care of you
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side
Lay me down tonight
Lay me by your side
Can I lay by your side?
Next to you
You

~ ♫ ~

Keep Your Head Up

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when you're feeling down

I am having a really crappy day.

Firstly, the removal of the stitches wasn’t as easy-peasy as expected. Due to the delay in removing them, my skin had possessively adhered to the blue thread; and instead of a gentle pull after cutting them, the Doc had to tug rather aggressively to get the sutures out.

As if the wound wasn’t already painful due to a night of rolling on it; I was in downright agony after leaving the doctors rooms. I considered entering the pharmacy next door for some schedule sixes; but sense and lack of cents won the day and instead I headed to the greatest headache inducing place of all.

My arrival was rewarded with a rude phone call from whom we refer to as The Rat Lady. Reason being, when she had a rodent in her townhouse and we refused to send out the pest control, she got rid of the problem herself – by killing the rat with a unknown weapon. She then sent an email with photos of the rat running around the kitchen, followed by pics of blood trails, entrails and a dead rat.

Hence, The Rat Lady.

We’ve had endless problems with her over the years, and several weeks ago I had to send her an email demanding that she cease from abusing, accusing and threatening the staff at our offices. I made it clear that if we received one more offensive email or phone call, we would hand the matter over to our attorneys.

During today’s call, she was her usual no-class, disgusting self. Swearing at me, accusing me of stealing her money, telling me I have no education. this from a woman who writes as follows:

“Well its outside the my front door birds shit likewise ur rats damage inside my unit which I had to pay 4 the damage!”

So I put the phone down on her. It’s not within my job description to put up with this abuse, and as I’ve cried over and over – I do not get paid enough for this shit! [Speaking of which, I still haven’t had a reply regarding my increase because, as per Boss Lady “I’m not in a good space to discuss this” – No comment].

I know I shouldn’t take my work, or rude clients personally – but since it’s what I deal with on a daily basis; all day every day – it’s becoming increasingly more difficult not to let it affect me.

On the other job front, a position became available at the company I had recently applied for a position at. And this job is more within my skills set and interests, and so I contacted the HR manager asking her to put me forward for the position; knowing that if they loved me for the job I didn’t like, they’d adore me for the one I was actually passionate about.

No reply to my email.

I contacted her via Facebook.

Nothing.

Now I should also mention that I recently helped her find a place to stay in my complex, as her and Blondie had a falling out – either with their landlord or each other; and had to move out the house they were sharing.  And I found her this place AFTER turning down the original position, so it’s not as if she was harbouring a grudge. Well she certainly didn’t seem that way when I was sending her my contacts and putting in a good word for her.

I bumped into her on my way to the grocery store on Monday evening – she was coming out the liquor store with a bottle of vodka, and she couldn’t duck and dive quick enough to avoid talking to me. It couldn’t have been more obvious if she took out a space, dug a hole in the ground and jumped in it.

WTF???

Well, let’s focus on the positive. The test results from the cyst and pap smear came back clear for both. Although Doc has warned that due to the splintering of the cyst, and the inability to get every grain, I will have cysts returning in that area. Luckily they take years to grow to the point of having to have them removed, so that won’t happen anytime this decade.

Another good thing; tonight is canoe polo at Scouts … which means I might catch sight of a certain sexy single daddy. I could really use the pick-me-up. Or even pick up.

~ ♥ ~

Extension on Hair Raising Sutures

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StitchesTwo weeks later and I’m still sitting [and lying, and standing, and sailing, and driving] with stitches in my head.

They were scheduled to be removed last Friday, however the top pieces of the wound hadn’t yet knit together properly, and had the nylon thread been taken out, I would’ve been sporting a literal hole in my head.

Too few stitches and placed too far apart, methinks. But what do I know.

Perhaps it doesn’t help that despite all good intentions, I can’t help but roll over onto my left side during the night thereby rubbing the slash on my poor Marilyn cushion. So during the day the wound rests and heals, and at night MM bites it open again.

I tried wrapping a bandage over to my head to protect the wound, however after one nightmare involving blindfolding and strangulation [no prizes for guessing where the bandage was when I awoke] I gave that up as a bad idea. BDSM is not for me.

My hazardous sleeping habits have also resulted in my head being in constant pain since having the procedure done. I survived the first 24 hours thanks to generous handfuls of paracetamol [the pharmacist wouldn’t hand over Gen Payne without DNA swaps and a police clearance (oh how I miss having my own personal chemist)] however I’ve been a good drug-free girl since then.

By Sunday evening I could no longer live with the bloody, oily, dirty hair and despite instructions not to, I washed it. Ah heavenly! So lovely it was, that I washed it three times with three different shampoo’s and thereafter lovingly coated my locks with moisture rich conditioners.

I let my hair dry naturally as I wan’t about to put a hot hairdryer to my head; although I did relent and make use of my ghd to get iron out the kinks and curls. A girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do.

And yes, my vanity has everything something to do with my new crush.* And wouldn’t you know, ’twas not a day after the cleanse that our communication improved. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyway, back to the good Doc tomorrow morning I go, with the fervent hope of having the prickly blue stitches removed without my brains splattering the consulting room; and at the same time we discuss the test results of both the contents of the cyst and the pap smear.

* ok, I’ll admit that he is one of several crushes I’m currently habouring … hehehe *blush*

~ ♥ ~

Crush Confession # 53484

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smiling guy

So … there’s this guy.

*blush*

He is one of the single daddy’s from Scouts.

Yup. Single. [That word is music to my ears.] Preliminary investigations indicate that he has never been married and is currently not in a relationship. No wife, no fiancé, no girlfriend.

I’ve “known” him for over a year, and until yesterday, our three to four weekly conversations consisted of:

Hi.

Hello.

Bye.

Bye.

Last night however, we progressed to:

Hello Harmony.

Hi Kevin.

How are you are?

All good and yourself?

Very good.

~ awkward silence ~

lots of blushing [from me]

lots of smiling [from him]

Ok bye, take care [said both of us at the same time]

Not only has our conversation increased by several syllables, but instead of waiting for his daughter outside the hall after Scout’s meetings as he has in the past; Kevin has recently taken to coming inside the hall prior to the closing time.

But wait!!!

That’s not all …

Whilst in the hall, he is not watching what his daughter is doing, as you’d expect a parent to do. Oh no … unless my eyes seriously deceive me, his eyes are following me around!

Just to test my theory, I took an unnecessary walk up and down a flight of stairs yesterday afternoon; and lo and behold, besides almost tripping on my feet because I was too busy watching Kevin watching me and not watching my step; Mister’s eyes were most certainly on me.

And he’s not just looking at me, he is constantly smiling. *sigh* I am a sucker for a sexy smile, and whilst I wouldn’t class Kevin as traditionally handsome or even good looking; when he grins, that sparkle sets off the butterflies in my tummy.

Now to await his first move.

~ ♥ ~

Laughter is the Best Medicine …

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Stitches

… it had me in stitches

I feel like I’ve been hit over the head with a bottle of rum; and then my attacker stabbed me in the already throbbing noggin with the shards of Red Heart; and just when the wound is oozing with blood, they flick drops of the booze that was pooling at my feet. Or was that piss?

Yup, I’m in pain.

I didn’t realise how badly the anesthetic would burn as it wound its way through the cells in my head; but bloody hell I felt like a Tibetan self-immolator.

The procedure took longer than expected; instead a 10 minute cut, pick and stitch; it took Doc an hour to scrape off bits of cyst that had broken up under the skin. Of course I felt nothing at the time, but the sound of the scraping against my skull was </em>grillerig<em>to say the least.

Unfortunately the nodule wasn’t whole like the previous one I had removed; instead Doc had to literally dig around my head searching for minute keratin splinters of the cyst.

As for the pap smear; that was no joke!

Unfortunately that was also a rather invasive procedure, with Doc digging deep to find my cervix, not unlike an inexperienced teenage boy searching for the illusive G-spot. So when she asked,

“So Harmony, have you got anyone new in your life?”

I didn’t know whether it was an insinuation or small talk, but I retorted,

“Nah, my cervix and I are too shy to date.”

Well that put an end to any awkwardness and Doc and I had a hearty giggle. My laughing obviously loosened the necessary muscles, because that part of the examination was unceremoniously concluded.

Thank heavens for that.

I’m not feeling great today, I didn’t get much sleep due to the pain, and fear of accidentally lying on the wound, so every movement woke me up as I’m generally a great tosser (not!) and turner.

In the absence of real drugs, I’ve been taking paracetamol; but I might as well have been throwing back Smarties for all the pain relief they’ve offered.

The highlight of the day was catching so many friends and family with a wicked April Fool’s joke. I uploaded a photo of my stitched wound, with the following update;

“That’ll teach me to get into a bar fight. 3 stitches and a moerse headache.”

I watched with glee as the comments came in, with Blondie’s taking first prize:

“WHAT????? BAR FIGHT??? WHAT DID I MISS??? WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME???? IM NOT UP FOR ASSAULT CHARGES FOR NOTHING LOL”

It was only after receiving a very concerned call from my Daddy that I admitted it was an April Fools joke.

Hehehe.

happy easter

Happy Easter to those celebrating,
may Little Bunny Foo Foo bring you lots of eggs!

If you’re looking for me,
I’ll be on a yacht somewhere on the Vaal Dam.

~ ♥ ~

Medical Moments

sexy doctor

I’ll drop mine, if you drop yours

In November last year I broke the baby toe on my left foot by hooking it on the protruding leg of the table at the end of the passage.

I didn’t even cry – not due to a lack of pain, but because the pain was so searing that I couldn’t breathe, let alone get a sound out.

Closed shoes were out and so I purchased several pairs of summer slops from PQ [less than 100 bucks for four pairs] to get me through the recovery period.

By the beginning of March the bruising and swelling had finally subsided. Truth be told, I thought I was going to lose the toe. It stayed black, blue and purple for so long that I suspected it wasn’t getting any blood supply.

And what did I do last week, just when I was back in heels? I caught the same bloody toe on the same effing leg of the side table. On St Paddy’s Day. Thank you Murphy.

Poor little toe is now dangling limply against my foot. Thankfully the pain isn’t close to the original break, and there is no bruising whatsoever; however it has swollen to twice its size and once again I can’t wear closed shoes.

That’s a bit difficult when I have to wear water shoes for sailing, rowing and canoeing this weekend – I can’t walk down the jetty barefoot or with slops, so that’s going to be a painful exercise.

And baby toe is not my only woe.

A pilar cyst has made a reappearance on my head, and despite my best efforts to ignore it over the last few months, the nodule has grown and the pressure of the bastard pressing against my skull is giving me headaches.

I had the previous one cut out several years ago – not a major procedure at all – my GP cut it out herself in her rooms. However I was on medical aid at the time, and so I didn’t feel the pinch.

So not only is it going to hurt physically and financially – my biggest dread is the shaving of my head in order for Doc to safely cut a wide circumference around the cyst in order to remove it.

I’m far too vain [especially when it comes to my tresses] to sport a balding spot. And it means that I can’t colour my hair until the stitches have been removed and the wound healed. That could take WEEKS!

But I can’t put it off indefinitely – it progressively growing, and at this rate I’ll be able to attend Halloween parties as a one-horned devil. Not sexy at all.

So I’ve bitten the bullet and made an appointment with Doc for tomorrow morning to have it cut out. And since I’ll be lying on the examining table anyway, I’ve decided to spread my legs for Doc …

… and get the annual pap smear done and dusted too.

And dusting there will be, I’ve been out of action for so long my poor Doc is going to have to wade through the cobwebs.

I’m not looking forward to that procedure either, as two years ago abnormal cells were found and I had to return for a biopsy.

Thankfully the precancerous cells were not cancerous [I don’t understand medicine – really I don’t] but it was an awful scare that I faced alone and it also meant pap smears every 3 months for a year as well as treatment.

So I have a wonderful day off to look forward to tomorrow – head cut open and fanny fiddled with.

Misty Morning

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TO:        HARMONY
FROM:   BELOVED
DATE:    11 MARCH 2015
My dearest Beloved

Without opening my eyes to you in this life, my heart would not know how to sing the song that gives my spirit wings to soar.

It was difficult at first, this human battle, this yearning of this human heart to be one with you, but as each moment passes and as I feel the elements surge through me, the clarity of being rises high above my human self where my inspiration for everything I do, everything I create and how I want to change the world is birthed within the immortal moments spent with you.

I love you so much, words cannot express it but each breath I breathe if filled with the immortality of you.

Firstly, I must apologise for not replying sooner, but this family I have chosen to travel with is just growing and with that all joys and wonder of birth and creation all over again.

Yes, that’s number 4, coming very soon, in fact anyday now.

[the rest of the email was a blur]

Baby Number 3 arrived on the 31st December 2012, at home, on the bathroom floor with just Wife and I. I caught her as she came out and what a magnificent feeling that was, after which I proceeded to tie the umbilical cord with fish gut and I used the kids school scissors to cut the cord. Now, it begins all over again.

It’s definitely going to stop after this little one, I’m going to go and have the snip, so much for population control.

The days are pretty full, balancing between homeschooling the kids and transforming the land we live on. The vision is to create a way of living that is totally self sufficient and off the grid, where being part of the balance found in nature is the key in creating this abundance of food and energy.

I know it sounds all hippy and forest-people like but it is a place where I am happy, far away from the illusions of unconscious living. It gives me a great canvas to work on where I get to focus on how I can create something that can empower the masses in creating a way of living in harmony with nature and being abundant.

The world has been fooled over and over again to rely on a sick and bloated system that disempowers the true potential of each and every human being. By empowering small groups to transform how they live, they will begin to realise that they don’t have to rely on any system or form of control that they grew up knowing.

It is simple I know, but when the survival needs of the human being are taken care of, they begin to rise above being unconscious beings that react out of survival and begin nurturing the next step in their evolution, that being the awakening of their true potential. The longer they spend in this new form of reality the more they awaken to the light within themselves. That is when the true magic begins.

Imagine giving the system the finger and knowing you can tap into a form of abundance that will take care of your needs by understanding the cycles of how things truly work. It is a mammoth task, but that is all I live for. A single minded focus on changing the world, one human being at a time.

So getting back to my apology, even though my heart skips a million beats at reading an email from you and I just want to dive in and share, I have to wait to catch my breath and when I have a moment I will share. Don’t ever think for a second that you are alone. I am with you always, and that is not just a cheesy cliché.

It was so good reading about your adventures and misadventures and how you dive straight in past your fears and lead like a natural leader. I must say that misadventure follows you, even though it’s not directly yours. It’s the nature of your rescuer spirit.

So tell me my love, are you doing something different that you have an assistant? Do you have a new business that you have so many kids under your care? You are looking amazing and I truly miss you.

I have so much more to share about the medicine work and ceremonies that I want to share with you but time is limited today but when I get a moment soon I want to share the amazing adventures of the medicine path that I have been on.

Did you manage to see the nahko bear medicine song video? I listen to it everyday like a mantra.

Always loving you my dearest Beloved.