Kevin Continues


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So what else has been happening in the Life and Times of Harmony besides fantasizing about a new kitchen.

On Kevin’s side, his daughter moved out of his folks place and in with her other grandparents and the boyfriend wasn’t very far behind. We havent had contact with her since. To be honest I enjoy the peace it brings, but Kevin pines for his little girl and that breaks heart.

Shortly thereafter his mom passed away from emphysema. A mere 4 months after my own mother. From the same disease.

The only good that came out of that tragedy was Kevin finally giving up ciggies. And he was eternally grateful for my consistent nagging when he competed, and placed very well, in the recent Midmar Mile. And yes, I was at the finish line cheering him on.

After spending an incredibly magical weekend in a delightful hippy house atop a hill in the Midlands and a day frolicking on the beach.

Last December Kevin also started a new job.

After his mom’s death he and he father were further estranged,  to the the point of a regretful war of words over rhe phone on New Years Eve, and so in January of this year he moved …

Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth


Those who know me know I’m not one to spend much time in the kitchen. It’s a standing joke that I consider the kitchen a glorified coffee station.

However since Kevin and I cook together several times a week, and make each other tea / coffee on the mornings he’s here; I have started noticing a lot wrong with the nook. (It can hardly qualify as a room)

A cupboard without a door. Loose handles on drawers. Lopsided shelves. Chipped countertops. Rotten kickboards.

And the damned humungous peninsula in the middle of the living room, tendering the kitchen small and awkward and the dining room obsolete.


Or WTF as I used to say.

How did it deteriorate to this point?

I realised that it was the one area in the house which other than new blinds and a paint, had never had any sort of upgrade in the more than 16 years I’ve been living here.

Soon a desire to redo my kitchen was borne.

And we really need violin music here cos this is ME talking. ME actually wanting to spend time, money and attention remodelling my kitchen.

I kept picturing my dream white cottage / French chic inspired glass doors, antique pewter cup handles on the shaker style doors.

I didn’t depress myself by obtaining quotes, which would no doubt be ridiculously expensive and as far as Mars out of reach.

But that didn’t stop me from dreaming. And collecting hordes of pictures for inspiration.

I could actually want to cook in some of these kithen.

// hi!

SARS Scares


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The last month at my previous company was the most pleasant I had spent in my 6 years and 4 months employment. Partly due to Boss Lady being overseas [globe-trotting around Europe, because the company doesn’t make enough to offer its staff decent increases] and in part because I went on a go-slow, in the name of training my replacement.

My assistant wasn’t able to handle 1/10 of my work and so a second assistant was hired to help with the workload. She too wasn’t coping [and I hadn’t even handed over all my “problem children” as yet] so before I left they were conducting interview for a third person to fill my position.

And no-one believed me when I said I was doing the job of four people. Oh well – they live and learn. [Last I heard, they are looking at another person to help out in my department, as the three ladies are drowning. Hehehe.]

Boss Lady returned to the office two days before my final hoo-rah, and was kind enough to give a fitting farewell, which I found rather touching. We had a fabulous lunch [which everyone sat in their respective offices and ate] and I was handed a goodie-bag with make-up, perfume, clothes, chocolates, a brooch and a weird looking wooden doll [WTF].

Oh, but before my grand exit, there was a bit of drama.

On the Tuesday, my penultimate day at Hell Hole; I received a call from our HR consultant, which as the past has taught me, never bodes well.

Hi Harmony.

Hi Nasty HR

I have some bad news for you


I can’t pay you your salary today

[noting that it was already 4 days late, because my expired contract stated that I was to receive my salary on the 25th of the month]

Why not?

SARS have contacted me and because you owe them R16,000 in penalties, the company is legally required to deduct this from your salary.


So I suggest you urgently go see them and sign come to payment arrangement, otherwise we have to deduct that money and pay it over to them.

Seriously? Seriously!

I’m not disputing that perhaps I hadn’t submitted a return or two over the years, and I’m also not doubting the validity that SARS contacted the company – however the timing [the day before my last day] had me thinking something was rotten in the state of Denmark [one of the many European countries Boss Lady had recently visited].

As for owing them R16,000 in penalties alone – how is that even possible???

Having no choice but to visit our delightful government organisation, I roped in the cavalry, in the guise of good old faithful Kevin.

Fortunately my office was a block away from the local SARS office, so I didn’t have to battle with finding an elusive parking space, and took a short walk down the road. Thankfully too, I was uncharacteristically wearing flat shoes that day.  [Sometimes, the Universe does like me.]

I entered the building, received my number: 892, and took a seat to await my summons.

Kevin took almost an hour to get to me, as he was on a job in the South and still had to drop his father off at another client before coming to my rescue. But I hadn’t moved, and I was nowhere near to having my number called.

Kevin decided that since he was at SARS, he would take the opportunity to have a consultant assist with doing his latest return, so he too obtained a number.

Another sixty minutes ticked by and finally my number was called.  I entered the office of elderly lady, and hoped that her age equated to experience, and we could quickly resolve the matter.

However it seemed that my luck had run out, as the news wasn’t good.

There were returns from 2008 and 2011 outstanding, and somehow that had accrued to R16,000 in penalties. I explained my situation to the consultant and requested how to go about coming to a payment arrangement in order to still receive my full salary without the government taking it all via the evil HR.

Madame Aged said that I shouldn’t sign an acknowledgement of debt, and should rather file an appeal with the view to having my penalties reduced.

Great! Let’s do that!

First you need to get an affidavit to state why you didn’t submit your returns.

No problem, I’ll quickly write something out if you can sign it.

No can do. You need to get it certified at the police station

By this time it was 15h15 and the SARS office were closing in 45 minutes.

Wasting no time, I dashed out of the building and power-walked backed to the office where I speed-typed a semi-accurate letter of excuse and then stuck my head in Boss Lady’s office with a hasty update and then flew in the Feisty Fiesta to the nearest police station.

Luckily everyone in the queue was there to have docs signed, as with only one police officer in attendance, I’d have been there until midnight had anyone been there to report a crime.

With signed and stamped letter in hand, I texted Kevin and asked him to obtain a secondary number for me, so that I wouldn’t have long to wait in the queue; and with 7 minutes to spare, I sped a hasty retreat back to SARS. Small mercies for residing and working in a small town.

I made it through the doors in the nick of time however I couldn’t find Kevin and I had run out of airtime so couldn’t contact him, and had no idea how to send a please call me. With no other option, I took another number.


Fortunately I was called not long after taking a seat, and after entering another office, I had to repeat my sob story to another consultant.

My name-sake [a sure sign that the tides were going to turn] was aghast at the run-around I had been given by the old lady, and said that I didn’t need an affidavit or even a letter, as any of the consultants on duty could merely lodge the appeal on the computer system on my behalf.


Harmony2 was also taken aback that the ancient one had given me the incorrect information; it wasn’t 2008 and 2011 returns that were missing; it was 2001 to 2015 [oops] and H2 kindly submitted all my missing returns whilst I was in her office, in order to prevent the accrual of any further penalties.

She also submitted my appeal and had the head of SARS provided me with a formal letter for my employers to release my salary pending the outcome of the appeal, noting that even if it wasn’t successful, I could pay it off at R500 a month.

It was after 17h00 when Kevin [who’d been having his own returns submitted – with a wonderful refund which has since paid for a new fabulous bamboo memory foam mattress for us] joined me in the office and it was close on 17h30 when I returned to the office with letter excepting the HR cow from retaining my salary.


Oh and did I mention that HR offered to do my returns at R450 a piece …. a reduction from R750; which would have seen me R6,750 out of pocket. And I wonder how she thought I was going to pay that after almost leaving me salaryless.

When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.
~Vanya Cohen

What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.
~Thomas Paine

Another difference between death and taxes is that you don’t have to work like fury to pay for the dying you did last year.
~Robert Quillen

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
~Herman Wouk

Weakly Week


My resignation went well. Very well in fact. Boss Lady was neither surprised, nor upset and she heartily agreed that it was an opportunity not to be missed and so I will be leaving with her blessing. Not quite the reaction I was expecting, but I’m pleased that no bridges have been burned.

Boss Lady is overseas for the month, so luckily my last month is rather quiet and peaceful, for a change. I am handing over as much as possible to my poor assistant who is not coping under the pressure. Good luck to her next month when I’m not here to hold her hand anymore.

There has been a major change in the family dynamics. Kayla and Kevin had a humongous fight last week. She was being her usual obnoxious, disrespectful self; and so Kevin grounded her and forbid to her to return to Scouts.

She made it clear that she wasn’t going to be prevented from being with her boyfriend [seemingly her only reason for going to Scouts] and the argument escalated to the point where he gave her a hiding.

I don’t agree with corporal punishment under any circumstances and pride myself on having successfully raised two children without ever raising my hands. However I can actually understand it getting to this point, as Kayla does not obey instructions and I have never in my life met such a insolent teenager before.

Anyway, after the smack she told her father that she would rather live with her mother [a drug addict whom she left last year due to constantly being left home to fend for herself] because her mother lets her do whatever she wants. Including sleep at the boyfriend.

So, last Friday night the mother came to fetch Kayla. However she has since moved in with the mothers folks, as parenting was getting in the way of the drugging; although she told Kevin that she was entering rehab. This remains to be seen.

*sigh* It’s been a week from hell for Kevin, with the mother sending the nastiest messages to him, and pushing all his buttons hoping for him to snap. Her parents have also jumped on the bandwagon and are all making Kayla out to be an Angel and her father a monster.

Oh well, they’ll soon see what happens when she doesn’t get her own way. So either they’ll have to let her run riot [which seems to be happening], alternatively they’ll face the wrath of one contemptuous teen. Good luck to them.

I’m staying out of the drama and am merely offering Kevin my support in his stance in that unless she apologies for her past behaviour, and agrees to comply with the rules in our respective houses, that she is not permitted back.

I don’t see that happening anytime soon as she spends every afternoon and weekends at the boyfriend now, so I don’t see her giving that up for anything. And we all know where this roads leads …

In other news, I finally relented and bought a new cellphone. I am the proud owner of a new Samsung A5 that I am still trying to figure out. I won’t make the mistake of giving it to Angel to figure out and then teach me; I did that with an iPhone 4 and needless to say, I never saw the phone again.

Anyway, no time to dilly daddle; Kevin and I are leaving shortly for a much welcomed weekend away courtesy of none other than Boss Lady. Yup, as a birthday gift she gave me a weekend away voucher and we will taking advantage of it this weekend.

Deneysville here we come!



, ,

Dear CEO,

A great many thanks for the offer of employment and opportunity to join your company.

I do have a minor concern that the proffered salary will equate to less than my requested minimum gross requirements after tax deductions.

If you will kindly permit me the weekend to review same, so that I may ascertain the tax implications as well as investigate permissible allowances so as to maximise the tax benefits, and to thereafter calculate my estimated gross salary and I will revert on Monday morning.

That being said, I am pleased to note that commission would be considered in due course, as I am confident that my unique set of skills and work ethic will be a great asset to the company and I am more than prepared to prove myself worthy.

Once again, thank you for the offer and sign of faith in my potential, and I look forward to being a productive member of the team!

Kind Regards,



Hi Harmony,

…Thanks for your reply…we’ll try make your decision easier for you….see our revised offer…

Just a note…not sure if it was mentioned in your interviews. This job involves being thrown into somewhat of an “organised chaos”…so if you are counting on all things being stipulated and formalised it’s not for you…we are looking for personnel who can work in vacuum areas and create procedures and processes where needed…

Awaiting your feedback




Monthly Package:
15% more than their initial offer, which equates to an 80% increase on my current salary.


So not only will I be earning almost double what I have been; I will have no-one looking over my shoulders, nit-picking what I do and how I do it; or even telling me what to do period.

The company is expanding rather rapidly so not only will I be challenged on a daily basis, but there is so much room for growth.

I am so excited I could pee!

Finally I am joining an organisation that recognises my potential and has faith in my abilities … AND is willing to compensate me accordingly. Unlike Boss Lady who has taken advantage of me for six years so that she can live in the lap of luxury whilst I’ve been surviving hand to mouth.

Well no more! On Monday morning I had in my resignation and a week later BL leaves for a 3 week trip to Europe so I don’t know how she’s going to find a replacement for me whilst she’s globe-trotting – the timing couldn’t be worse – for her. Ah Karma, she works in mysterious ways.

Anyway, that’s not my problem.

I will leave at the end of September with my head held high knowing that despite not being treated the way I deserved, nor adequately compensated for my slog; I gave always gave 200% and went over and above the call of the duty.

I am so damn proud of myself.

Watch this space!

Shop Hopping


, ,

Back to Birthday Weekend.

On Saturday morning we were all up bright and early, as Kevin was taking Kayla to visit a friend in their neighbourhood, and I was meeting with a friend of Angel’s mother and a bunch of kids to assist them with a school project.

And believe it or not, Kayla made her bed without being told. Yay, progress!

I also had to fetch a few kids from a secure estate nearby, as well as drop them off afterwards, and knowing that security protocol has the guards checking the boots of all vehicles, we “hid” one of the girls in the boot whilst waiting our turn at the gate, with strict instructions to look dead.

Pity we couldn’t hold our laughter in, as it was very obvious to the security guard that something was fishy with a car full of girls giggling hysterically. Still, he had a good laugh too when he opened my boot to a non-moving teenage girl.

We had a restful afternoon, with Kevin and I spending most of it sitting in the garden chatting and attempting to reconnect – which we successfully did. But not before I let go my built-up resentment from the previous week.

Yup, I really struggle to let go of issues and I can hold a grudge tighter than Gollum with The Ring.

Late afternoon Angel wanted to go the mall as she had to fetch something [I knew it was related to my birthday present, but didn’t let on that I knew]. Kevin didn’t come with us as he had to go fetch Kayla, so I had an hour alone to window shop.

Which was the intention, until I walked into Pick n Pay clothing. All good intentions flew out the window when I saw that they stocked short playsuits. I’ve desperately been looking for a set, so I didn’t hesitate to grab a handful of sizes and try them on until I found the perfect fit.

Happy with my pending purchase, I made my way to the counter when I was distracted by the sight of brown boots hiding under a table.

I had searched the whole of winter for a pair of brown boots. Not to say I haven’t come across brown boots; but they’re either too high, too low, too dark, too light, too pointy, too rounded. I knew what I wanted, but hadn’t seen anything close to my vision … until Saturday!

I decided to leave it up to fate. The chances of having a size 3 when shoes are on the racks are slim to none; the chances of finding my size among a few pairs of shoes discarded after the season are about a million to one [trust me].

I could see several very large boots, and lifting them out found them to be size 7 and 8 respectively.

I dropped them and picked up a tangled trio and found two to be a size 4. I could work with that! With a few pairs of socks to buffer the feet and prevent them from slipping out – no problem.

With my mind make up I untangled the third shoe and out of curiosity turn it around.

Size 3.

Oh my god!

I dropped to my hands and knees and not caring that my short red dress was creeping precariously high up my thighs, I hunted between the remaining galoshes for the boots mate.

Found it!

My slip-slops were slipped off and the boots slid on. Perfect fit!

My newfound excited was quickly extinguished when I looked at the price. R399. Now I know that is a reasonable price for a pair of high good quality boots, but being the penny-pincher I am, I squirmed all the way to the till.

The sales assistant rang up my purchases and when I saw R199 being rung up, I quickly told the guy to halt as the price tag of the playsuit was R159, NOT R199. He reviewed the monitor in front of him and pointed out that it wasn’t the playsuit that cost R199, it was the boots.

They were on sale for half price – but for reasons unknown to me, weren’t marked as such. Bargain!

Now all I was missing was a pair of white high heeled go-go boots that I recently saw at the flea market but had no money at the time to purchase.

Angel and I returned home after our mutually satisfying shopping experiences, and Kevin and Kayla weren’t far behind us.

We spent a relaxing family night in the lounge watching movies together, in anticipation of the big birthday the next day!

No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.
~ Donita K. Paul

Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets.
~ Mignon McLaughlin

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
~ Erma Bombeck

When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again. (Confessions of a Shopaholic-the movie)
~ Sophie Kinsella

Buy what you don’t have yet, or what you really want, which can be mixed with what you already own. Buy only because something excites you, not just for the simple act of shopping
~ Karl Lagerfeld

Interview News


I promise to continue with the story of my birthday weekend [when time permits – this has been the busiest week at work ever!] … however I have exciting news that just can’t wait.

On Wednesday I received a call from the company where I attended an interview a few weeks ago, asking me to come meet the two directors for a second interview.

I had been expecting an email from the lady I met to set up an Skype interview with the CEO in Canada, so I was surprised at receiving a call for another in-house interview.

Nevertheless I naturally agreed to meet at the appointed time of 13h30 at their offices.

The interview was very much a repeat of the initial one; however instead of dismissing me after the obligatory Q&A session, they peppered me with questions regarding my notice period and bottom line on earnings

I informed that I was required to give a calendar months’ notice [not that I’m legally required – my contract actually expired and hasn’t been renewed, so I’m not officially employed – however, despite the poor treatment I have received from my current employ of late, I wish to do the right thing].

The directors then interrogated me, wanting to know what I would do if my boss counter-offered on their offer and I assured them that my reasons for wanting a move were more than financial and more than earning a higher salary, I in need of a need challenge in an environment where I could grow.

They asked me again what my bottom line was, and asked if I was prepared to reduce it, with a view of having my salary reviewed after three months; to which I acquiesced as I really want this job, and I am happy for the opportunity to prove myself first in order to earn my worth.

Before leaving, they said that they would confur with the CEO on Canada and then send me an offer either later in the afternoon or the following morning.

What? I got the job? Just like that? OMG OMG OMG!

I didn’t walk out of the building – I floated with a Cheshire grin, and it was very difficult replacing it with my poker face upon my return to this little hell-hole I call my office. But not for very much longer … because …

This morning I awoke to the expected email:


Hello Sharon

Thank you for taking the time to come to our interviews.

Finance Manager, Director 1 & Director 2 have wholeheartedly recommended you as someone we would want to join our company.

We have been blessed with drastic growth and hence your job description is broadly defined in the attachment.

We have been restructuring and hiring more people to help us fill the various positions and roles required by our organisation.

In time we hope to carve a path for you that is synergetic to both your personal aspirations and our company’s objectives.

If you are in agreement with the attached offer please sign it and send it to:

If you have any questions please contact Director 1 at xxx xxx xxxx or myself.

Hoping to hear favourably from you.




We have the pleasure to offer you a position within our company as per our previous discussions.

Administrative Manager

Process Improvement, Procedure Maintenance, Internal & External support, Sales Staff Coordination, Customer Public Relations, General Administration, Recruitment, Project Management and miscellaneous day-to-day required functions within our company.

As mutually agreed but no later than Thursday October 1st 2015 @ 10 am

Monthly Package:
50% more than I’m currently earning

Allowances will be contemplated for a maximum tax benefit within the limits of the monthly package.

To be contemplated in due course depending on applicants contribution, advancement & company growth

Working Hours:
45 hours/week, 5 days/week. A 9 hour work day may fall into a range from 8h00-19h00 and weekends where applicable.

Overtime: Not applicable for this position

Benefit Types: N/A

Dress Code: Professional/Casual

Leave: As per market related norms.


Friday Fails


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My birthday weekend got off to a bit of a rocky start, with two arguments with Kevin [no prizes for guessing the subject] being narrowly averted.

The first occurred when I was making chicken prego rolls for our dinner. He had forgotten that I don’t eat margarine, and so put the already-buttered roll aside stating that Kayla could have it later.

“Love, then wrap it back in plastic and put in the bread bin, because it’s going to be hard and stale by the morning.”

“Morning? I meant for dinner tonight.”

“Dinner tonight? Didn’t you feed Kayla before you took her to Scouts this evening? You can’t feed a child at 10 o’clock at night Kevin!”

“She’s not hungry at 5pm when we leave.”

“Then either drop her off at Scouts later, or at least make her a sandwich or something to take to eat before Scouts! Seriously Kevin, she can’t wait til after 10 at night to eat – that’s so unhealthy – and no wonder she can’t sleep – because her food hasn’t digested.”

Scouts only starts at 19h30, but she gets to the hall at 17h30 to spend time with the boyfriend, as I’m sure I’ve previously stated. I only drop Angel off at 19h00 and I ensure that she has eaten before hand, for reasons given above.

Anyway, I left it at that because it was the first time we’d seen each other since Wednesday’s tête-à-tête and I wanted us to return to being the sickeningly in love couple we were until a week previously.

We went to fetch the girls at 22h00 and on the way home Kevin stopped off at the garage to buy cigarettes. As he was getting out the car, he asked the girls what they wanted. Instead of giving him their shopping list, they asked to go inside with him.

He asked me if I wanted anything, and I just glared at him with icy eyes, instead of blowing the gasket boiling within me.

Really? After the almost-argument we just had about feeding your daughter late at night, you’re going to buy the kids sweets??? Food at that time is bad enough, but sweets – oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me! Don’t you bloody listen???

I said nothing all the way home and climbed straight into bed and ignored his advances when he joined me after his last smoke for the night. I even wore a onesie to bed to make it even more difficult for him to attempt any approaches of a sexual nature.


Sleep ’til you’re hungry, eat ’til you’re sleepy.
~ Unknown

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
~ Buddy Hackett

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
~ Jim Davis

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
~ Robert Byrne

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
~ Voltaire

Stale Mate




After dropping the girls off at Kayla school at 18h30, Kevin and I returned home for dinner.

Serving him his favourite meal – chicken giblets in a very hot peri-peri sauce [yes, I’ve learned how to butter men up, and it’s true what they say about the way to a man’s heart …].

As soon as he took his first bite into a liver, I got started.

So you had your say last night, and as you may have noticed I didn’t say anything in response to why you were upset. However I noted that there were two issues that I was seemingly involved in, so I would like to address those now.

You noticed that I was upset on Sunday whilst cleaning up … well let me tell you why I was so cross …

I told him in great detail my concern and irritation at Kayla always forgetting her school uniform at home; and I gave him my two assumptions – that either he hadn’t told her our schedule [which he denied] or that she was irresponsible [which he denied].

His premise was that she was purposely not bringing it. So I told him that if that was the case, he needed to talk to her to find out the underlying reasons why and resolve it. Whilst this is his issue and not mine, is affecting me, which he initially contested, but when I explained the inconvenience it causes to MY weekend too, he saw my point of view and promised to discuss it with Kayla.

The next point was Kayla and Adrian. He admitted that he saw them and wasn’t comfortable with their actions but felt that there was a time and place to discuss it. So I asked if he had brought it up with her since Sunday, and he admitted that he hadn’t.

This pissed me off even more, because if it wasn’t the right time at the time; he had Monday morning on the way to school with her to talk; the Monday night [oh wait – he had taken a time out]; the Tuesday morning, the Tuesday afternoon, evening and Wednesday morning. So exactly when would be the right time?

I accused him of being far too lenient with Kayla, which led to an argument about how tough her life had been with her mother and what an adjustment it was for her to live with him.

And I told him that this was even more reason to pull in the reigns with her as he was asking for trouble by giving her all the freedom he does, and that he wasn’t doing her any favours by letting her having her way all the time. He denied this, and I truthfully told him that I had never in my life met a parent as pliant as he is.

Daddy I want a new phone and it must be an iPhone 6 S.

Ok darling, here’s your phone.

Now what 13 year old needs the most expensive, top of the range phone??? I’m sitting with a 5 year old Blackberry Torch which [mostly] does its job just fine

Daddy I want take-away’s three times a week.

Ok sweetheart, anything you want.

Daddy I want to sleep at my boyfriends house.

Ok my angel, of course you may.

Daddy I don’t want to make my bed.

Ok love, I’ll do it for you

And so it goes.

This then led to me bringing up her disrespect for him in the way that she issues demands and refuses to do things; and does so in such a rude manner that even I cringe.  He starting denying this too, until I mimicked the way she spoke to him on Sunday night, refusing to go home to fetch her bag. Funny how I got raised eyebrows at my tone, but when she speaks to him in the same manner, it’s acceptable.

He said he was so used to women in his life talking to him like crap, that he doesn’t notice it when he daughter does it. Bull shit.

I told him that he can’t expect me to sit by and listen to her disrespect my boyfriend like that, and if it had been anyone else that had spoken in that way, I’d have called them out on it, but because it was his daughter, I expected him to do so.

He still doesn’t see that it’s a problem, and says that she speaks to him like that all the time and it’s just a joke.

Jaysus dude! Seriously? Is that how you want your daughter to grow up?

Again there were excuses of her mother, and that’s how she grew up, but that she was making progress [I’d hate to know what she was like before he lived with him then!]. We reached a bit of a stale-mate as he doesn’t see this as a major problem, and I told him that I would speak to her about it if it was done in my presence again.

Finally we got onto the issue of Kayla not making the bed in the mornings. Again, he was defensive on his daughter saying that perhaps she didn’t understand the instruction.

This is when I lost it and nearly tippled the entire hot pot of innards on his head.

I asked him what could possibly be misinterpreted by “you are not leaving here until your bed is made” and being told it THREE times.

He still insisted it was purely a misunderstanding and that she wasn’t intentionally disobeying my instructions.

Then I asked him why he didn’t just leave for work at his appointed time and let me to take her to school. A block away from Angel’s school, it’s hardly out my way … and his reason …

Because she has a routine of being at school at 06h45 and I don’t want to disrupt that.

So it’s more important for her to be at school at hour early to meet up with her boyfriend than to attend to her chores?

Can you believe that he actually had to think about that, and insisted that her routine shouldn’t be altered.

Realising that I was fighting a losing battle, I told him that I had a perfect solution to the problem of Kayla always forgetting her school uniform and not making her bed on a Monday …

That they should go back home on a Sunday evening and not stay over at my place.

He didn’t even object and agreed that they would do that until the problem was solved.

Great – nothing like letting a spoilt teenager dictate the pace of our relationship.

Before Kevin left for work this morning, with Kayla in tow; he came to inform me, with a big smile on his face – that Kayla had made her bed. It just happens to be the day when the maid comes in and the bedding is changed – but hey – it’s a start.

The Phone Call – Part 3



Studio portrait of couple arguing

The Phone Call – Part 1

The Phone Call – Part 2

Kevin continued his tirade, adding that when his workers returned to the house/office, they had complaints about clients and other work-related issues.

I know all about work problems, what with all the drama happening in my little hellhole; two resignations in a month, my assistant being let go this afternoon [and he still doesn’t know] and my Boss is going to be overseas in September so I’m fortunate enough to be given her portfolio. On top of mine, and my assistants. And I haven’t heard back from the company I interviewed at.

But this is not about me, it’s about Kevin and his problems.

Then he was upset because he’s mother is very negative and had one of her rants about the state of the country, which upset him. And so, not wanting to face any further discord, he took himself off to bed for an early night.

Understandably so, and I’d have done the same thing under those circumstances. However I’d have had the decency to call or text my boyfriend to let him know that I’d be holing myself up and avoiding the world for a while; and not merely disappear without word of warning and leaving his imagine to run wild. But hey, that’s just me.

So did I over-react in my accusations of being ignored and avoided? Absolutely! It’s no secret that I have a flair for the dramatics, and I did warn Kevin from the get-go that I’m a drama queen, an insecure one at that.

Still, his avoidance felt more like an accusation that I had contributed to his bad day. With regards to Sunday, if he was so concerned about why I was upset, he should have approached me instead of sitting on the couch watching a series.

However I suspect he didn’t because he knew exactly what was irking me, and to confront me on it would mean facing the real issue at hand. The same goes for him being late for work on Monday morning. I cetainly didn’t make him late.

Anyway, Kevin apologized for shutting me out and not letting me know what was going on, and agreed not to do so again – all I’m asking for – case closed.

Except that there are still glaring underlying issues, which makes his smoking such a minor triviality.

*sigh* the honeymoon period is clearly over and now the hard work begins.

The girls are going to watch a production at Kayla’s school this evening, and Star is out every night since purchasing his first vehicle [yes, can you believe my child bought his own car!!! I’m so proud of him!] so we’ll have the house to ourselves.

Since I’m not feeling very amorous towards Kevin after the past few days of tempests in teapots, I might as well use the opportunity to speak to him about the issues regarding Kayla.

I think I’ll start by telling him exactly why I was upset on Sunday – from Adrian being invited to the braai when Kayla knows very well that he’s not allowed to visit; to them cuddling on the blanket.

I still feel sick to my stomach even thinking about it. I’m no prude, but no 13 year old should be up close and personal with an 18 year old! And if this is how they carry on in front of us, then I shudder to think what’s goes on behind Kevin’s back.

Remember she’s at school with him from just after 6 in the morning … and Kevin drops her off at the Scout hall two hours early on a Friday when it’s just the two of them. So what those two teenagers get up to with all those hours together … just saying.

I’ll mention that I was upset with BOTH girls, at them not tidying up after the braai, as they were both supposed to get stuck in and neither did; leaving it for me to do. I can only crap on my own child for not doing her duties [which I did] but I can’t say anything to Kayla.

As for her not offering to make me anything to drink whilst offering her dad, I’m not going to make an issue of that. I went ahead and made my own coffee anyway. No biggie.

Now with regards to Kayla always forgetting to bring her uniform on the weekend, I’m going to suggest that they rather go home on Sunday afternoons.

That way she doesn’t need to remember to pack additional clothes and bags, and we aren’t inconvenienced with Kevin having to dash home every weekend to fetch her forgotten items. And it will also solve the Monday morning issue of Kevin being late for work because Kayla doesn’t make her bed.

Then the ball is in his court – if he has a problem spending less time with me, then he needs to instill discipline in his daughter.

Is she’s mature enough to be in a relationship with an 18 year old boy then she’s damn well mature enough to remember to pack her school clothes!

Ok, that’s my rant over.

For now.