, , , , ,

I have been feeling very out of sorts lately, with my moods pivoting on a pendulum, oscillating upon high and unable to reach equilibrium.

Happy, sad, disappointed, bored, hopeful, apathetic, ecstatic, pissed off, agitated. Cape Town may boast four seasons in a day, but Harmony suffers with at least six emotions from dawn to dusk.

I’m currently in a state of apathy, with a dash of boredom and sprinkle of irritation for good measure.

I intentionally put it down to the birthday blues, however with celebrations [or lack thereof] being over for almost a lunar cycle already, my current malaise must have an alternate cause.

Being the good little spiritual being I am, I consulted the cards for answers. Instead of choosing one of my Angel / Tarot packs for a ready, I took one card from each, in the name of covering all angles [and all Angels].

FIVE OF PENTACLES [The Lovers’ Tarot Deck]

On a psychological level, the Five of Pentacles may indicate difficulty with your relationship to money and material things.  For example, if you are unfortunate enough to encounter financial difficulties such as the loss of employment or an investment gone belly-up, you may fall into the trap of losing faith in your ability to recreate a positive financial situation for yourself. Therefore, you should not only consider your actual financial circumstances but also your attitudes toward money.

Well now that you mention it, Kevin is unemployed … again, having recently resigned from his new job in order to avoid being let go [read: fired] pending a disciplinary hearing. Whilst I’m sure he is feeling the pressure beneath the rough and tough exterior; I know that I am stressed as I am was finally back on my feet financially after many years of struggle and strife. So the uncertainly of Kevin’s employment means I no longer have free spend of my salary or the additional income of his “rent” which I had been investing. Damn it. 

The Five of Pentacles can also point to a time of being alone, feeling abandoned, ignored and unwanted. You may be excluded from group events or you are being ostracised by others. You are in desperate need of support and comfort from those who actually care.

Alone, abandoned, ignored. That pretty much sums up how I’ve been feeling for several weeks. What with my regrettable, but unavoidable resentment towards Kevin and the knock to his confidence and ego, we’re tiptoeing around each other to avoid harsh words. and since he just about sums up the total of my social life, loneliness is inevitable.

MANIFESTATION POWER [Angel Therapy Oracle Cards]

Use your spiritual gifts and natural abilities to attract your desired outcome.

You’ve got the power! With this card, the angels remind you of your innate spiritual abilities. Perhaps you’ve been complaining about something or have been feeling like a victim under the influence of someone else’s will. This card is a reminder that you do have the power to change everything in your life by using your natural spiritual gifts of manifestation.

Yes, definitely feeling the victim of someone else’s actions. But what is my desired outcome???

THREE OF ARIEL [Archangel Power Tarot Cards]

Do what you love! It’s important to follow your passions and do your very best work. There is great talent and skill present The task at hand can be a joyful experience and may bring recognition or financial rewards. this is a time of great personal growth in your career or artistic endeavours. Working with others in a happy, cooperative manner is important. Get the input of those around you, but don’t be afraid to confidently share your ideas.

The “Do what you love” instruction struck a cord, and the immediate thought that came to mind was blog.  It’s definitely top of my list of activities that I take absolute delight in, and I have severely neglected my blog for several months.  In fact I note it’s been nearly a year since I regularly wrote. Tsk tsk.

So here I am. A somewhat forced effort as my current occupation does not involve writing whatsoever hence I am really out of practice. As much as I despised my previous job, at least I wrote for a living. That being said, I am enjoying tremendous financial success in my rather dull new career, and as much as I love writing – it never paid the bills. Certainly not all of them.

PLAYFULNESS [Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards]

The angels know that you have a lot of responsibility and that you need a steady flow of time, money and other resources. By drawing this card, the angels want you to know that regular doses of fun can help you accomplish your goals.  You may protest that you don’t have enough time, money, or energy to pay. Yet your angels assure you that playfulness is a wonderful investment that yields immediate returns.

When you have fun and laugh, you relax. This relaxation gives you a greater inflow of ideas, spiritual connections, Divine guidance and energy. With the new inspirations and energy, you can better manifest your desires.  Your relaxed and radiant personality attracts wonderful and helpful persons to you. Your positive outlook creates new opportunities for you. When you look at life in this way, you can’t afford not to have fun.

I have the time and the money, it’s the energy that’s been sorely lacking. I won’t claim to work long unreasonable hours, but those that I do put in are rather draining. 

But the angels have spoken and I am listening, so tonight I have a date with my beautiful daughter. We’re going to watch Mother’s Day on my newly upholstered couch [post for another day] and pig out on buffet of junk food. 

And if that isn’t the definition of fun, then I don’t know what is!