♥ River 4 Harmony 4 Eva ♥

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 My Teen Age Idol

~ RIVER PHOENIX ~

BORN: 23 August 1970
DIED: 31 October 1993

INTERESTING INFORMATION

My birthday is also the 23rd of August and my ex husband’s birthday is the 31st of October.  So I was born on River’s birthday and he passed away on Star’s father’s birthday. *insert eerie music* I was so devastated by his death that my employees gave me compassionate leave to mourn. I kid you not.

Seven months later Star was born and I named him River Star. His father was having none of my “wild hippy nonsense” and so this name is unfortunately not reflected on his birth certificate. However, it is still how I think of my son and I often call him by his true given name.

River_Phoenix river 1 River 2 River-river-phoenix-391971_368_413 river-phoenix-21 River-river-phoenix-391986_273_374

river

~ ♥ ~

When You Think You Know Someone

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Woman Shocked

Mimi: There’s something I need to tell you because I don’t ever want there to be secrets between us.

Harmony: Okayyyy.

Mimi: And even though he’s my son, what he’s done is not right.

Harmony: Hmmmm.

Mimi: You know on Sunday we were at Roger and Natasha.

Harmony: Ja.

Mimi: Well Natasha called me aside and said she has to tell me something; because her and I are like you and I – we don’t have secrets.

Harmony: Uh huh.

Mimi: Now, you know of Natasha’s sister Odette and her husband Brandon?

Harmony: Ja, I’ve heard you speak about them.

Mimi: And obviously Roger and Natalie and Odette and Brandon and Liam spend a lot of time together, even when Liam was still with Chantal.

Harmony: Hmm mmm.

Mimi: Well, Natasha told me that Odette and Liam have always been close.

Harmony: I know that. Liam did mention that they were good friends.

Mimi: Hahaha, is that what he told you?

Harmony: Yeah.

Mimi: They were more than just good friends. Natasha says they were always flirting with each other, even when he was still with Chantal, but after they broke up they got even closer.

Harmony: How do you mean?

Mimi: Natasha says that whenever Odette was having problems with her husband, she would turn to Liam for a shoulder to cry on and even when they were all together at Natasha and Roger’s house, her and Liam would go to the shops together or find an excuse to be alone.

Harmony: Where was her husband in all this?

Mimi: Oh he was there! [N] was with me with Natasha was telling me these things and she said that in the December holidays she saw Odette pull Liam into one of the bedrooms while Brandon was outside braaing and when [N] barged in to find out what was going on, Liam said that Odette was drunk and being silly by trying to kiss him.

Mimi: Anyway, so something has been going on between them for quite some time, but obviously it wasn’t serious. However, when he started talking about you all the time, and said that he was going to take you out she got very jealous. Odette didn’t think he would actually take you out because he hadn’t been on a date in two years and she had always kept him close enough not get serious about anyone else.

Mimi: On the Monday morning after Liam took you out, he couldn’t stop talking about you in the car on the way to work, and how happy he was to have met you and how well you two got on.  Natasha was obviously also very happy for him and when she got to work she told her sister about how well the date went with you and that Liam was finally moving on from Chantal.

Mimi: Only Odette wasn’t so happy about this news and she immediately got hold of Liam and told him that she was going to leave her husband so that they could finally be together. That’s when you got the message from Liam saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship.

Mimi: We all thought it was because he was still mourning after his ex, and he led all the family to believe that; meanwhile behind all our backs he was plotting with Odette to be together.

Mimi:  But Odette kept stringing him along, and after a week told Liam that she was back with her husband to work on her marriage, and then Liam became even more depressed because he had let you go in order to follow a dream that was never real; and Odette was back with Brandon.

Mimi: Natasha was talking to Odette saying that he’s still not over his ex, and how everyone was upset about the way he had treated you and then she finally confessed as to what was really going on, and then Natasha told me on Easter.

Mimi: We we were all angry thinking that he was worried about his daughter and sad that his ex was moving on; and even worse – you were encouraging us all to be nice to him the whole time and telling us to stop being hard on him. Meanwhile he was carrying on with his sister-in-law behind her husbands back and they were making plans to be together.

Mimi: I realise now that I don’t know my son at all, and I am so sorry for ever introducing you to him and setting him up with you. I’ve told him that I know everything and he actually wanted to try make amends with you!

Mimi: But I told him not to dare ever speak to you again, you are too good for him and I warned him to stay away from you.

Mimi: Now he even more depressed because he realises that Odette is never going to leave her husband and because you were the one sticking up for him all these weeks he knows what a good person you are and he’s lost you.

Harmony: I have to get back to work now.

Stoked to Shocked

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shocked face

Freshly rejuvenated after Monday’s body, mind and soul pampering; Tuesday was a splendid start to the working week.

I was over the moon when I received the news that Star had passed his driver’s test.  Especially considering he had practiced for exactly zero hours and naught minutes since failing last week.

His test commenced at 13h00 and I was an absolute wreck with nerves for the next two hours. Even Boss Lady kept shouting from her office next door for updates every half an hour.

It was only at 15h00 when Mimi called me with the news that I was finally put out of my misery.  I wasn’t too impressed that I had to receive the news from her though. Star had wanted to surprise me, and so kept his phone off, with plans to fetch me from work at 16h30. However, when he and Barry arrived home, he obviously told his wife and she took it upon herself to call me with the news.

Oh well. All’s well that ends well.

I had little more than 30 minutes at home after work before I had to return for a meeting at the office at 18h00, and whilst I was sitting outside enjoying a cup of Nescafe and the setting of the sun; who should arrive at my garden gate.

Miss Mimi herself.

We chatted about Star getting his driver license – with Mimi taking much credit in this regard as it was her hubby who took Star to book and then went back with him for the actual test. However she neglects to mention that they went in my car, not theirs and whilst I do appreciate his time; let’s not forget that she forgot to arrange driving lessons for Star with same hubby; nor the fact that I take her son to school EVERY day.

But, whatever. I’m not counting.

After the conversation about Star, Mimi asked me why I’ve been so quiet as I haven’t been chatting to her on Whatsapp. However, before I could actually answer her, as in tell her how disappointed I was over the weekend with the constant let downs with the so-called plans to go out and therefore I was indeed childishly ignoring her [cos that's how I roll] … she dropped a bombshell.

And you know me, it takes a hell of a lot to shock Harmony; I’m usually the one embroiled in the scandal … but Mimi’s shattering news had my mouth agape and left me quite speechless.

Once she finished the sordid tale, I could see she was expecting a response from me; but all I could utter was …

I have to get back to work now.

The Resurrection

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sexy angel

I spent Easter Monday alone as Angel was still with her bestie and Star was doing whatever it is that he does when he’s with his boys.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, or hosting another pity party for one; I smoked the remainder of my stash [sorry Goddess] and set myself up in comfort for the rest of the day.

I lay Angel’s old Disney Princesses sleeping bag on the grass in my under utilized garden and threw a few cushions on it. I brought out two packs of Angel Reading cards, a deck of Tarot of Marseilles and my Rumi Bible. Oh yes, and I took out all my crystals for much needed cleansing.

And so I was set for the day; and what a glorious one it was! The weather was once again on my side, and my body tingled under the warmth of the suns golden rays.

After a few yoga stretches, I meditated in my blissful surroundings and thereafter conducted several very insightful readings for me myself and I. I then used my newly energised crystals for a Chakra cleanse and rebalancing; and by the end of my session I was rejuvenated.

Other than chatting with Goddess and updating her on my progress via Whatsapp, I ignored the rest of the world. When I heard Mimi in the vicinity I merely lay down on the sleeping bag as though in deep sleep to avoid any conversation or confrontation. This was my day.

I also fasted for the day [not difficult after all the crap I ate the day before] and so I gave my physical body a chance to rest and reset my usually irritable digestive system.

And thus, Harmony was resurrected.

A Tale in Two Cities

marilyn monroe married

On Sunday morning I decided that I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for Mimi’s call as I had already wasted half of my weekend doing so. Before I could draw out my battle plans, I received a call from Nina asking me if I would like to join her and the kids at her boyfriends parents plot, as they were having an Easter Egg Hunt for the kids and a braai for all.

Count me in sister!

At the appointed time, I messaged Nina asking for in depth directions as I wasn’t familiar with the suburb [yes, I was leaving my town!!!] and I was afraid of getting lost in the middle of nowhere. Luckily they were leaving home at the very moment and she offered to come past my complex so that I could follow the convoy.

Yippee kai yay!

The weather was gorgeous; with the sun blazing a beautiful 27 degrees Celsius down on us whilst we relaxed in the vast open spaces; with a stable of horses cantering past and a kennel of dogs weaving amongst the legs of the plethora of kiddies. Not forgetting the Easter Bunny who littered several acres with a large variety of chocolate eggs.

Ah heaven!

Nina pointed me in the direction of the fully stocked bar fridge and I helped myself to a Lime Breezer [or few] and I even partook in a shot of Tequila to celebrate the magnificent day; ah I could easily be put out to pasture in such relaxing surroundings.

Whilst the Daddy’s were playing Easter Bunny, Nina and I had the kids [one of mine, three of hers, two of her boyfriends, and two of her sisters] indoors to distract them.  They were put in pairs, and given streamers, glitter glue and other colourful favours to decorate the baskets they would later collect their chocolates in.

I assisted Nina’s BF’s 2 year old son, as he had taken a liking to me [what can I say] and the two of us had more glitter and glue on us than on the basket by the end of the play session.  Angel got stuck in too and painted Marilyn’s lips and married her off, unlucky gal [see above].

An hour later and the Daddy’s hadn’t yet finished hiding the choccies and so we played pass-the-parcel with them chillens. By the end of the unwrapping tearing of three parcels, during which each child had gained several handfuls of small chocolates and marshmallows; I was already feeling nauseous at the sight of so many sugary treats.

But that was nothing compared to the sight awaiting us outside. I haven’t seen that much chocolate in a sweet shop; let alone in a garden; suffice to say that Nina and her boyfriend didn’t spend hundreds on chocolate; but rather thousands. And no cheap crappy chocolate either, we’re talking Geldof. *drool*

Once again I was teamed up with my young admirer and we scoured the lower lying areas to fill [three times over] his basket with an assortment of chocolates to make Charlie jealous. It took eight kids almost an hour to find all the hidden treasures, but before they were permitted to eat any of them, more games were in store!

A photo booth was set up for funny pics; one where you could wear Bunny Glasses and Ears and another where you put your face through the hole of a cardboard cutout of another Bunny and background. And yes, I posed for both. And no, you won’t get to see those photo’s.

We ate, we drank, we laughed, we made merry. And then I received a message.

Mimi: Hi friend how u??

~ better now that I’m with friends who don’t let me don’t ~

Mimi: What u doing?

Harmony: Hi my friend, I came with Angel to an easter hunt in City 2 with friends.

Mimi: Friend is here, Can we hook up with you later or u gonna be tired??

~ should I, shouldn’t I, should I , shouldn’t I? ~

Mimi: We just here by Roger [son] and Natasha [daughter in law] chilling.

Harmony: Angel is gonna stay with her friend, so I’ll let you know when I leave here.

Mimi: Ok.

~ 30 minutes later ~

Harmony: I’m leaving now. Should I come past there?

Mimi: We just quickly going to the airport to get Friend and his friends tickets for Wednesday.

~ well now, that’s mighty convenient ~

Mimi: I won’t let u come around as Liam is also here.

~ WTF ~

Harmony: Oh ok. Gonna go home and have a bath.

~because I think I’m done waiting around for these plans to come together, and Marilyn needs a divorce ~

Mimi: Ok

~ 1,5 hours later ~

Mimi: Hey friend, Friend left cause they had to rush back to Sandton.

~ not interested ~

Mimi: They did not stay long.

~ Really? By my calculations they were there for 2 hours after I was back in town. But you know what, I don’t care, and I’m still ignoring you ~

Mimi:Ey it’s just a pity u were not home earlier.

~ again, WTF? I told you I was on my way and YOU told me not to come because Liam was there!!! *sigh* Ignore ~

~ later that night ~

Mimi: They want us to come to Sandton

~ Fuck that, ignore ~

Mimi: I said no u don’t like driving at night

~ Oh, so now you’re putting this on me! Ignore ~

~ still later that night ~

Mimi: Friend why is this we never get to go out.

~ ignore ~

Mimi: Everytime there is an obstacle??

Harmony: Seems we just not meant to go.

Mimi: I’m sad because of that. I did not know they gonna come while you out with Angel.

~ Did you think I was going to sit at home for another day waiting for plans to materialise? And still, I was on my way to you a mere 30 minutes after you told me, and the plans changed in the 15 minutes it took me to drive home ~

Mimi: They just told me they in town.

~ whatever, I had a GREAT day and I’m not going to let you ruin it ~

Party for One

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Saturday morning came and went without a word from Mimi, and not wanting a repeat of the previous night’s non-performance, I sent her a message.

Harmony:  Hey friend, so what are the plans for tonight?

Mimi: Just driving hey.

[several long hours passed]

Mimi: I missed Friends call now. I will just wait and hear what he says. I asked him to come this side and we can decide where to go. So I don’t know what he’s gonna say, I don’t wanna be desperate.

Harmony: Ok, let me know what he says.

Mimi: But we definitely going tomorrow to Barry’s Bar hey.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! YOU CAN’T EVEN PROPERLY ORGANISE AN EVENING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS THAT HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR THREE DAYS RUNNING AND NOW YOU WANT TO REMIND ME THAT TOMORROW WE’RE GOING TO YOUR HUSBAND’S SPOT??? THE SAME HUSBAND THAT MOVED OUT AND YOU WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH? WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE BE GOING THERE? WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?

Needless to say, we did not go out that night. Despite me making plans for Angel earlier in the day to ensure that there was no hold up on my side. Despite Mimi assuring me that we would definitely go out on Saturday night.

And so I did what any girl who’d been repeatedly stood up would do.

I got rip-roaring drunk [thank you Goddess for the Smirnoff Black Ice]; and tremendously high to boot [thank you Rasta's for the good green]. With the house to myself, I hosted the most fabulous party that would make any college student green with envy, par for the lack of participants. But hey, who needs company for a good time.

So that was half of my long weekend, spent in social limbo. I can’t think of anything worse.

If I happened to converse with anyone between 20h00 and midnight on Saturday the 19th of April 2014, I can only apologise profusely for anything inappropriate I may have said or insinuated. However, if were not offended, you have my number. Call me.

A Tale of One City

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Thank you Charlie – you describe the tale of my life so succinctly – just a pity mine only take place in a lone town. How much more fun it would be if there were a second city. With plenty of sex and shenanigans.

The long weekend held much promise; on Thursday afternoon Mimi declared that we were going out to paint the town red. Dinner at one establishment, followed by drinks and good music at a second; all courtesy of a friend of her husbands. [Who had moved out that afternoon and stated that he was not returning until [N] was no longer living there.]

I was not concerned with the living arrangements between Mimi and Barry as I honestly cannot keep up with the musical beds; however I was excited at the thought of getting all dolled up [I haven't been out since The First Date Last Supper] and devouring an unlimited supply of sushi on someone else’s account. You say shallow, I say hungry.

However, by 19h00 that evening the plans were still up in the air with hubby’s friends wanting us to dine in Sandton. Since I would be driving, and drinking and thereafter driving again; heading out North to the home of many a roadblock [and there were two that night] was not an option. I spent much of the last Easter weekend at [not in, but still] jail so I wasn’t about to tempt fate.

The guys offered to fetch us, however I was not prepared to be chauffeured by someone I don’t know. Call me paranoid, but I like to personally know the person behind the wheel with me in the vehicle.  Their final offer was to pay for Mimi and I to stay at their hotel. Hahahaha. Nice try boys, but I am far too cynical to fall for the “you ladies will get your own room” line.

Mimi and I decided to take a rain check, and plans were put on hold for the following evening, whereby the gentleman would head East to our side of town, and we would make our own way to the various venues. Nevertheless I was disappointed at the postponement as I really needed an opportunity to let my hair down.

The following morning I seriously let my hair down. And myself in the process.  Stuck in my dark mood, I decided that my hair should match. I won’t be posting pictures because it looks boring and bland and makes me feel dull and old. I shall remain camera shy until such a time as the blonde is back.

After doing my hair, I gave myself a facial and spent much of the day pampering myself in preparation for the evenings activities. I couldn’t care less about the company – chances are I wasn’t going to chat much to the hosts; I was there for the food and drink and opportunity to leave the house and my bad mood.

In the late afternoon I send Mimi a message asking how her day had been. I didn’t want to seem too desperate about us going out, but the excitement was building and I wanted to know our estimated time of departure so that I could plan my wardrobe. Oh who am I kidding, my outfit [black leggings with black and red faded jersey and black boots] had already been lovingly adorned on my freshly scrubbed body.

Harmony: Hey Mimi, how has your day been?

Mimi: In Far East Rand Town. Brought the kids, And how is your day?

Harmony:  I had a nice pamper day … had a facial, recoloured my hair darker … got dressed up … did laundry … now watching DVD’s.

Mimi: Oh nice!! My friend from Namibia is calling and wants me to go to Sandton. I don’t have petrol anyway.

[oh, so now it's your friend wanting you to go. Where's the us? Where's the we? What happened to the arrangements for dinner in our town???]

Mimi: Did you see the Pope’s status, I was wondering what he up to.

[way to change the subject, friend; throw your son in the mix.]

Harmony: Lemme see what it says.

Mimi: Can’t you see it??

[I don't exactly check up on his status every few minutes!]

LIAM: I just can’t help but feel you, the way I use to

Harmony: Ah, seems he is still crying over his ex.

Mimi: I told Friend I don’t have petrol, so I am waiting.

Mimi: But why is he using the profile picture you sent him?

Harmony: Can’t he come out this side?

Mimi: I asked him

Harmony: Probably because he wants a pic of Drake and if he puts a pic of Drake up by himself it will look odd.

Harmony:  What did he say?

Mimi: To come, so I’m waiting.

Mimi:I’m waiting

Harmony: What time are you coming back?

Mimi: Not too late. Waiting for Roger [her other son] to pick me up. Will let you know.

Mimi: Friend said we must go tomorrow. We will arrange in the morning

Harmony: Yeah we must arrange early cos I’ll need to make a plan with Angel.

Mimi: Ok. *kisses.

And we all know how much I luuuurv plans changing at the last minute, especially when I’m already in such a great mood. Nevermind that I was already all dressed up and ready to go.

[censored]

Broken Bandages

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The closest feeling I can compare it to is that sinking sad feeling you get when you’re about to get dumped. You know know it’s coming but there’s nothing you can do to prevent it and so you anxiously want to get it over and done with.

RIP THE BAND AID ALREADY!

Speaking of RIP, the feeling is also akin to grief. Not stricken from a recent mourning of passing but rather sombre around the anniversary of a great loss. So that is how I was feeling last week. Sad and sorry and sorrowful.

However, I am relieved to report that my “issues’ were hormonal after all. Unlikely menopause, but definitely physical in nature. Thank god for that. At least I know it’s a course of pills or injection and I’m back to normal (relatively speaking) again.

I wasn’t keen on having to deal with any deep-seated emotional issues. Neither was I thrilled at questioning my state of mind.

*Shudder*

I coloured my hair darker during these er … darker moments. Initially I just coloured the roots brown to give myself the ombre look [Google it boys], however on not-so-Good Friday I had reached the bottom of the pits and decided that all my hair needed to be darker still and I erased all evidence of having previously been a blonde.

I liked it for about an hour; but once the hormones dropped from Daisy Louisa C. De Melker née Hancorn-Smith levels, to simply erratic Harmony; I immediately regretted the bland boring brown crop I now sport.

The crazy things we (I) do in severe mood swings. Thank god I didn’t cut it because then I’d really have something to cry about.

Oh well, I don’t like the new look and I really missing my blonde-self but I’m going to have to live with it for a while. I’ve already coloured my hair twice in six days, and I don’t think adding bleach to the mix is going to do my locks any favours right now.

I also painted my nails blood red and my toenails pitch black. Yup, that’s the mood I was in. But like I said, I’m back to normal again – even if I don’t look it.

And instead of being mad at the world at large, I can now direct my ire to one deserving citizen at a time.

red-rose-divider

 

I keep turning around this misfortune,
this troubled illusion I call myself,
when I could be turning around you,
the giver of blessings, origin and presence.

My chest is a grave that you have made into a rose garden.
What goes in the grave?
What fits in that two-by-two-by–seven?

Not soul.
Soul cannot be contained in the sky.
I turned around God.

I have become a mirror,
yet for these few days I turn around a piece of white wool.
If I were a rose in this spring,
I would change into a hundred rosebushes.

I turn around this frustrated body,
tethered in a barn of words,
when I could be free in the infinite pasture.

Free,
why do I keep turning as though fastened to a pole?

~ RUMI ~

What Is Not Here

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I start out on this road, call it love or emptiness.
I only know what is not here.

Resentment seeds, back-scratching greed, worrying about outcome, fear of people.

When a bird gets free, it does not go back
For remnants left on the bottom of the cage.

Close by, I am rain. Far off, a cloud of fire.
I seem restless but I am deeply at ease.
Branches tremble. The roots are still.

I am a Universe in a handful of dirt,
Whole when totally demolished.

Talk about choices does not apply to me.
While intelligence considers options,
I am somewhere lost in the wind.

~ RUMI ~

Al-Latif