Don’t you hate it when you bump into one of your exes and you’re looking shite!
Your hair is unwashed, unbrushed, unstyled and unkempt (hey! I should audition for Gareth’s unradio!) …
When most of your make-up has faded after a long day at work and what’s left of the mascara and eye-liner has smudged, leaving you looking racoonish …
You’ve changed into comfortable (read: unflattering) sweats and dirty sneakers after shedding your work wear …
Don’t you just HATE it when that happens to you?
Well thank ye Angelic Masters and Guardian Beings that none of the above happened to ME tonight.
No siree. I didn’t bump into one of my exes this evening, I bumped into one and a quarter of the blinders!
And hell to the nizzle was I resembling a bag-lady on crack before a much jonesed for hit (with no offense to those battling this addiction).
Uh uh. Harmony; fresh from a very productive meeting with dazzled new clients (one of them being toooo cute for words – hands off Harmz!) had recently reapplied blush bronzer to give the cheeks that sunkissed look; lips lined and coloured in made them absolutely smoochable; and all dry flecks of day old mascara has been flicked away and the liner evenly smudged for smoky bedroom eyes.
No wonder I had such happy customers – award winning make-up remember!
So when I parked at the corner cafe after the evening’s meeting in the nick of time to purchase my Powerball ticket; I was not at all daunted by the fact that Deveroux was parking on the adjacent corner to enter the same shop.
“Hey, look what the cat dragged in!” Sang Harmony to the boy who broke her heart three years ago, but is thankfuckenfinallyfully™ over him.
“Hey hey, you!” He sing-songed back to the once love of his life.
*first genuine hug since break-up*
*first non-awkward kiss on side of mouth since same*
“Where are you going doll, you’re looking so good!” He complimented her, his eyes giving her the once over – twice.
“On my way home, I’ve just finished work.”
“You go to work dressed like THAT? Hell Harmz, you should be stepping out tonight looking like that!”
“Seven rand quick picks, please.” Our girl asked the recently deceased (RIP) owners son, whilst innocently enjoying the gaze of her cafe companion.
“Make it another two lines for the lady.” Dev dug deep in his pockets for change.
“Don’t forget me when you win doll!” He leaned in close, to view the computer generated Lottery numbers on her ticket.
Or was it to catch a closer scent of the Chanel No 5 Marilyn’s greatest fan was wearing?
“So, how is work? You still at HellHole? Any progress?” Remembering that she’d been the unhappy receptionist when last they’d lain together.
“Actually I’m the 2IC now.” She beamed proudly.
“Awesome doll! I always told you to stick it in; I mean stick it out and you’d finally get your recognition.”, he laughed, eagerly trying to cover up his gaff.
“Hahaha oh Dev, I do recall you saying THAT a number of times to me!”
“Hey you’re still so naughty!” With a gentle poke in her ticklish side.
“I haven’t changed a bit. Same ol’ me. Anyway, gotta run. Thanks for the winning numbers!”
And with a spring in her high-booted step, Miss H made her way to her awaiting chariot.
“Hey Harmz!” He called back at her, running to catch up with her.
“You won’t believe this, but I left The Family Biz.”
“Whaaaat? Seriously? Wow! I’m shocked!” Knowing it was the only job he’d ever held and wondering if it had to do with his fathers untimely passing last year.
“Yeah, but keep it on the downlow. It’s not public news yet. I’m telling you cos, well, you know all the history.”
“Yeah.” She agreed. To knowing the history, not as a concordment to keeping his secret.
“Tell you what.” Dev whispered, after another generously warm embrace. “I’ll call you and tell you all about it.”
“That’ll be great!” She agreed once again, knowing that he was not a recipient of her new number.
And the quarter?
Oh as I drove into the complex, Liam and his uncle were walking out. I just put on my brights (whaaat, I can’t see well at night!) and continued driving. And that about covers the importance of his encounter.