[Like nothing’s wrong]
Is something wrong?
[you’ve got to be fucking kidding me???]
Why are you ignoring me?
I’m not ignoring you.
So what do you call not speaking to me yesterday afternoon, evening and night; not even responding to my messages?
I had a bad day.
So you felt you should just distance yourself from ME when you’re having a bad day?
Yes, that’s how I get.
Oh, so I should expect this again in the future? When you’re having a bad day you’ll just take it upon yourself to avoid me?
Oh. Well fine. You need space? Have all the space you want!
With that, I ended the call and switched off my phone.
Worried that my alarm wasn’t going to alert me when to get up, I switched it back on and the following text came through:
05:39 – Well you know i had a off day yesterday well if you think means space without actually knowing what happened then might as well take all the space we need… (sic)
Whilst re-reading the text for any clues as to what the fuck was going on, my phone rang.
Possibly a minute or two of more silence.
What’s going on?
Nothing. I had a bad day.
How does that fit into ignoring me and not taking to me?
I HAD A REALLY SHIT DAY AND I NEEDED TO BE ALONE blah blah blah
When someone raises their voice or tone with me, I tend to tune out, and I certainly wasn’t going to listen to Kevin give me grief about the shit day he had, for which I was receiving the blame. Especially as he still wasn’t telling me what the actual problem was!
With no point to the phone call, we said our goodbyes. But soon after, I received another text.
05:53 Maybe if you had call last night to find out why my day had turned out shit today would be an other shit day for both of us now…. (sic)
Is this the same man that until now had only ever sent me the most romantic, beautiful, loving texts???
05:58 – I had sent SEVERAL messages to you last night trying to reach out to you, all of which you ignored. And if it was such a bad day I should’ve been the FIRST person YOU called out to, to make you feel better. I thought that was the point of having a ‘wife’. Not ignoring her & not letting her know what’s wrong, because without being told, how on earth am I supposed to know?
06:02 – I will talk to you later dont carry this today as when we talk later i will explain who this all started from the time i had to leave your place yesterday morning… (sic)
Well that certainly helped shed light on the situation. Not.
After several hours of stewing and unable to concentrate on my work, I sent Kevin a text.
10:50 – My heart is literally aching & its taking all of my might not to let the tears fall. We have never had distance between us, never not said good night or blatantly ignored each other. One minute we’re wishing each other a Happy Anniversary & without warning you turn from me, without even a word of explanation. I am the one person you are supposed to turn TO, not away from. Isn’t that part of the promises we made to each other? & it hurts most because of the special day it was supposed to be. I know you said we’ll speak later & you’ll explain bt in the meantime I’m disappointed that you couldn’t talk to me about this yesterday & heartbroken that there’s this huge abyss & coldness where just days ago it was warmth & PERFECT.
11:04 – I know you are right my love i should have explained i allowed my emotions to get the better of me the main reason i did not want to call is i was worried that you and i would get into it which it has turned that out that way anyway i should spoke to you earlier but i was really upset yesterday how my day turned out i of the reasons i went to bed earlier, I will call you later my love i don’t want this to happen to us. I do really love you.. and you will still be my wife…Xxxxxxx (sic)
11:16 – You can’t avoid me out of fear of us arguing. We’ve made a commitment & promised that we’ll get through any issue that comes up by talking about it & until now, that’s what we’ve always done, hence why there’s never been a reason to argue. The last thing you said when you went to sleep on Sunday was “we”ll get through anything together.” I love you Kevin, wholly & completely bt you can’t expect me to be sitting happy at home while I’m being totally ignored for reasons I’m not even aware of. That’s very unfair to me, to US. I’ll be glad to hear you out so that we can resolve whatever the issues are and move past this. XxX
MEN!!! I thought I was done with the all the drama and bullshit in relationships. I still don’t have a cooking clue what’s got Kevin all riled up and taking his fucking frustrations out on me.
Being an ear to hear out his problems – by all means; I’m even happy to be the proverbial shoulder to cry on. But bearing the brunt -and blame- of his bloody bad mood? Uh-uh.
Since he hasn’t replied to my previous text, I now have to (im)patiently wait for his phone call tonight with an explanation and hopefully an apology too.
Edit: Oh and I have just seen him. As I was leaving my complex after dropping Angel off at home after school, he drove into the complex.
So naturally I stopped and wound down my window to find out what he was doing there. He replied that he was fetching a bag for Kayla [who was sitting beside him, and whom I might add didn’t even acknowledge my presence (???)] because her bag was stolen from school yesterday, and didn’t I know that.
Yes, of course I knew that – you told me last night when you called.
Oh wait …
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
~ Phyllis Diller
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
~ Gloria Steinem
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, or else my heart concealing it will break.
~ William Shakespeare
There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.
~ Patrick Rothfuss
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
~ Gautama Buddha