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Over the weekend I received a friend request on Facebook from an unknown [to me at least] elderly woman. As I had no idea who she was, I went to see if we had any mutual friends and noticed that we had Kevin, his best friend, and a friend of my parents’ in common and therefore assumed her to be an aunt or other family member of his.

On Saturday evening Kevin and I were chatting about Facebook and I mentioned the unsolicited friend request from one of his “friends”. He asked who it was, and not able to remember the name, I gave him my phone to check the request for himself.

“Oh that’s just Maggie, my ex’s mother.”

“Oh.” Eh? A bit of shock.

“She’s a very sweet lady …” and then I had to listen to how lovely she is and all the family time they spent together doing this and that.

I know that Kevin means nothing by it, in the sense that this is his past, and the ex’s mother never did any harm to him so he would have no reason to speak ill of her. And all respect to him for that, but do you really think I want to hear anything about my current man’s past?

Nope. I don’t. I still have way too many insecurity issues to handle that. I get that he has a past, hell I have a pretty colourful one myself; but I would prefer it to stay there.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit weird that she wants to add me as a friend on Facebook?”

I know I’m the worlds most suspicious person, but wouldn’t ANYONE be on high alert if their other half’s ex’s mother befriended them on Facebook??? – I’m seriously looking for answers here.

“I’m sure she doesn’t mean anything by it, so just ignore.”

“Ok, well you have my phone, do what needs to be done.”

Case closed.

Or so I thought.

On Tuesday morning I went onto Keith’s Facebook profile in order to post a romantic picture, however the latest post on his page put me off.

Maggie, the ex’s mother; had posted a recipe for pancakes on her profile and had tagged Kevin and her daughter – his ex.


Now I’m sure she really is a sweet old lady, but why the hell is she tagging MY boyfriend with her daughter in a recipe for pancakes. The tagging was bad enough, but a recipe for pancakes of all things? PANCAKES! That’s OUR thing. So was it their thing too? *sob* I don’t want to know.

But of course with my mind racing in every which direction; my fingers followed too and I did a bit of Facebook stalking on her profile. Because I did want to know. Morbid curiosity and all.

Big mistake. As I could’ve told myself before I indulged in such self-destructive past. No good is ever to be gained in Facebook stalking.

Heading back eighteen to 24 months or so ago, I was confronted by many photos of my Beloved in the arms of another woman.

Argh. Why did I do this to myself?

From there it was a only a click and hop away to the ex’s unprotected profile, and I was punished by more photos of almost a year of them together; holidays, family functions, sunrises, sunsets, dinners etc etc.

I had no-one to blame but myself [and perhaps partly Maggie for opening Pandora’s Box], but once I get a bee in my bonnet, there’s just no stopping me.

So by the end of the day, I wasn’t just upset about Kevin’s ex’s mother attempting to befriend me on Facebook and tagging him in a pancake recipe, but I had worked myself up into a state about their whole relationship [yes, in retrospect, even I know how ridiculous that is … but hey, this is me we’re talking about.]

To increase my insecurities even more, Kevin and I hadn’t chatted as much as usual that day due to him having to travel to the North West for work, and when he finally returned home he was stuck with his father for several hours catching up on business [his dad had been away on holiday the week before].

Missing my wife… I love you so much… X x x I have to go to Bethlehem tomorrow for a site meeting. Will explain later when my folks leave my bedroom* Hahaha

Shame love, another very long day ahead of you.

My shortest text to him EVER! It’s called passive-aggression and I am her slave.

I felt a bit guilty at the previous curt text, so I emailed him some photos of us I had edited.

I sent you some pics on email …

Our power just went out so will have to see them in the morning now my dad still chilling here by me cause the tv only works in the lounge… 😦 I want to call my wife …

Crapping evening 😦

Now officially the shortest text in Kevin and Harmony history

This evening is not turning out the way I want it. My old man is still here now watching crime on tv which I am not enjoying …

And you can’t exactly kick him out of his own lounge, so you’re stuck. 😦 I’m not having a great evening either. 😦 Missing you so much & feeling so far and distant from you today. Made worse by going onto FB to leave you a post bt seeing your ex’s mom posting you a receipt for pancakes. :S

Not five seconds after pushing send, my phone rang.


* his bedroom = his parents lounge.

Not sure if I blogged the story before, but his mother has emphysema [déjà vu ala Mother Dearest] and is permanently on oxygen; and his dad had a back op last year [another déjà vu ala MD] and so he and Kayla have been staying with his folks since last year in order to help look after them.

His mom has a carer on hand during the day to help her bath and get around, but in the evenings he has to step in as his dad couldn’t walk after the back op and when the power goes off due to load shedding, he has to put the generator on as his father hasn’t regained enough strength in order to do so.

This was all well and fine whilst Kevin was single, but since meeting me he has obviously been spending more and more time at my place. Fortunately the Universe Eskom has only seen fit to load shed on occasions when either her or the carer are home, so he hasn’t had to make any mad dashes to his/their home at an inconvenient time.