What an emotional few days I’ve had. Again. Having barely recovered from Star’s 21st birthday and party [I’m struggling to accept I have an adult child!] I’ve had to deal with illness and death – unpleasant occurrences to say the least.

Lady Tubbington hasn’t been well for a few weeks; she had lost a large amount of weight and her fur was falling out. I know that she is a rather old lady, so her decline wasn’t too surprising; and whilst well meaning friends and family were urging me to have her put down, I decided that for as long as she was still able to eat, sleep and get around without being in pain [how do we even know???] I wasn’t going to prematurely end her life.

Now, as you may or may not know, Lady Tubbington was Mother Dearest’s cat, Tubby. [the link provides full history in this regard], so another reason for my hesitation in facilitating Lady Tubbington’s passing, was her connection to my Mother.

You see, Mother Dearest hasn’t been well either and the past few weeks have seen her already bad well deteriorating rapidly. She hasn’t eaten in several weeks, with only sips of Ensure passing her lips a few times a day, and along with severe weight loss [25kg down] she has lost what remaining energy she had to sit up in bed.

Knowing that her time was limited, we invited her to Star’s 21st birthday celebrations of my Dad’s house, with my older brother fetching her from the home.

What a sad sight to see her propped up in the broken wheelchair, with little life reflecting in her face. However Star was grateful that she was able to make an appearance, as it was in all likelihood her last social engagement.

Back to the cat. By the Monday after Star’s party, I made the decision to take the cat to the vet the following Friday as she was getting frailer and thinner and her quality of life definitely waning. However, as I said to Kevin before calling the vet, my inexplicable fear was that due to the connection Mother Dearest and Lady Tubbington shared, was that if I put kitty down, my mother would follow suit.

On Thursday afternoon my brother called me to say that I should go visit Mother Dearest soonest as she was deteriorating fast. Naturally this news had me in a tailspin and I spent much of Thursday afternoon and evening in tears.

On Friday morning I awoke to an awful sense of foreboding and instinct had me rushing to the lounge to check on Angel, who’d fallen asleep on the couch the night before.

Next to Madam lay Lady Tubbington, and judging by the angle of her body, she was no longer with us. I gently patted her head, and instead of a bounce in her body, it was hard to the touch and when I further shook her body, I found it rigid with rigor mortis.

Lady Tubbington had passed away during the night.

I awoke the kids to inform them of the news, and Star removed kitty’s corpse so that Angel could get out of her make-shift bed.

We were all terribly sad and tearful but so relieved that we didn’t have to take matters into our own [or rather the vets] hands later that afternoon, as the guilt would’ve eaten away at me, even though it would have been best to put her down.

I fetched Angel from school on Friday afternoon and we awaiting Kevin’s arrival so that he could drive us to visit Mother Dearest at the home.

Might I quickly interject to say that Kevin in a God send. WHilst our first 40 days together were filled with nothing but love and smooth-sailing; me emotional turmoil of sick mother and dead cat really brought out a side to me that he hadn’t seen, and it’s true when they say this is the time when you really get to know a person.

Kevin has been nothing short of a rock to my family and I. Saying exactly the right thing and being there emotionally and physically for me when I needed him, for instance on Friday afternoon when I had no energy to make the drive to the home, and also knowing I would need a tight warm embrace before and after seeing Mother Dearest.

My man was there in every sense of the word, once again confirming that I have met the man of my dreams, and the man that I have honestly been waiting all my life for.


Anyway, off to Mother Dearest we went, and like my brother said, she had deteriorated badly and looked like she was shriveling up within herself. She admitted that she hasn’t eaten anything in several weeks [coincidentally the same time the cat became sick] and whilst she didn’t say so in words, she is clearly starving herself to death, as when it was advised that they were moving her to high care in hospital, she fought the suggestion as she doesn’t want to be on a drip nor have any life-saving measures in place.

Nevertheless, the home, in order to protect themselves from any liability, have to admit her as the small amount of Ensure she’s been sipping isn’t enough to sustain her, and they’re concerned that she’ll pass soon in their care.

It was a bitter sweet visit, as most of the life has left her already and she is barely holding on to any form of life. But I’m glad that Angel and I had the opportunity to spend some time with her as well as say our goodbyes in case the time comes sooner than we expect.

Star wasn’t able to get off work on Friday and so he paid her a visit on Saturday morning and even he was shocked at her decline in a short week.

So I’m unsure what prayers to offer up, as to request healing seems cruel as she is existing in a state of continual pain and discomfort; so I leave Mother Dearest in The Universe’s hand. May they be gentle.