big family

Last night Mimi took me out to Ocean Basket for dinner [prawns for me again!] and cocktails and naturally most of the conversation centered around Liam. *sigh*

The family [mom, brother, sister-in-law, sisters, step-father, uncle, gran] are all giving him a hard time about his decision; going on about how he’s wasting his life, making the biggest mistake of his life, turning his back on love ... blah blah blah. The women in the family have all decided to ignore him and now refuse to speak to him. And the men are giving him lectures.  *sigh* Gotta love large families.

I listened to Mimi for about an hour [my mouth was too full of seafood and Strawberry Daiquiri to interrupt … and honestly, if it weren’t such a sad situation, listening to the dynamics of the family would be quite entertaining … and I thought MY life was interesting]; then after licking my lemony-buttery fingers, I said that I needed to say something about the situation.

Mimi, I am so grateful that your family love me as much as they do, and it really warms my heart to know how you would all love for me to be a part of your family – I have never before experienced such open arms by another family and I want you to know that it is truly appreciated. And I meant what I said before; no matter what may or not happen with Liam and I; nothing will change between you and I; and I’ll always be there for [E] (her youngest son that I take to nursery school) and [N] (her pregnant teenage daughter) and her baby.

But.

Liam and I only knew each other for two weeks and we only went on one date! The way everyone is going on you’d think he walked out on a ten year marriage. My god, I am not heart-broken, I am not even hurt – yes I am a bit disappointed because we did get on very well – but jeez, it’s not the end of the world and as you can see, I’m hardly falling apart. So why are you all making such a big deal about this? I really think you are all over reacting.

And another thing.

If I have accepted Liam’s decision – why can’t the family? Only he and I are affected by it. He made it, so obviously he can live with it; and I am totally fine with it too. To be honest, it’s got nothing to do with anyone else anyway; but if everyone is so insistent on showing loyalty to one of the parties, then it should be towards him. Not only is his your family, but he needs it more than I do. Seriously. It’s not a big deal.

Mimi, I want you to tell the rest of the family to stop ostracizing him and making him feel like shit. Honestly, the way you guys are now treating him now is hurting me more than him not wanting to be with me; so if you all really care about me as much as you say you do; then please just support him and be there for him; do it for me.

And then I had to hear again about how it took him two years to finally go out on a date and everyone was so happy that he was finally moving on and now he’s just retreating again; and they’re concerned that it’s going to take another two years before he even attempts to speak to another woman again. *sigh* Like I said, if it weren’t so tragic, it would actually be bloody funny.

The more I stick up for him though, the closer I am to martyrdom. And every time I say anything in his favour my ratings go up *sigh* which is not my intention at all, I’m just trying to get la familia to see how things really are. They’re of the opinion that I should be slashing his tires, not wanting to dry his tears.

I get it though as I know how he is feeling. He is not pining for his ex or wanting her back; but hearing that someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is about to marry someone else does mess you up! Only a heartless person wouldn’t be affected. I also know that he’s devastated that another man is going to raise his child and that is probably the biggest issue for him. That and the fact that the man is Muslim and the baby mama is going to convert and so his daughter is going to grow up in a household not in line with his own beliefs.

And the timing! Whilst he is finally out on his first date [and I hear she knew about it too], she is having an engagement ring slid on her finger. I don’t know how superstitious Liam is; but hell if the tables were turned, I’d think him a bad omen!

I’m certainly not going to be his shoulder to cry on, or rock to get through this. Hell to the nizzle. I may be saintly but I’m not stupid. I will not send messages of support or anything of the sort; with immediate effect of receiving his message I reverted to my position as his mother’s BFF and that is where I will remain.  I just wish his family would give him the support he needs right now; not punishment. It’s not going to help him and I’m the only one who seems to know this.

*sigh* I can do no more. He is going to have to deal with his family and his issues in his own way.

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