Further my award, the following questions were posed to me:

1. If you could only ever read one book over and over again, what would it be?

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Men. Well I must be a complete idiot to even try and understand these unfathomable creatures, because just when you think you know where you stand, they have a cruel habit of pulling the fucking flokati from under you. But still, it would be nice if there was a guide book on how to handle the fuckers, because I clearly do not have a cooking clue! *sobs*

2.  If you were a zombie, who would you eat first?

Fabian. He has moved from # 1 on my Fuck It list, to # 1 on my Hit List.  Whilst he tasted rather sweet and delicious on the outside, I must admit that as I nibble deeper, the meat is rather tough and altogether unsavoury. I have completely lost my appetite as I have never been one for pork. *Harmony spits rather than swallows*

3.  What one thing on your Bucket List do you realistically think you will accomplish?

I’m having a difficult enough time keeping my Fuck It [currently empty] and Hit Lists [filling up fast] up to date without still worrying about a Bucket List.  So perhaps that is the first item for my Bucket List … to actually make one.

4.   What was the last thing you saw that moved you to an emotional response?

The messages I received from Fabian this weekend, beginning on Friday afternoon and ending this morning; have left me seething, scathing, sore and saddened. So yes, I have been on an emotional roller coaster all fucking weekend and I just want off. *sobs again*

5.   If you could have sex with one celebrity that someone else would say ” Ewwww”, who would it be?

Justin Bieber. Go ahead, say it.

6.   Do you like sharks? Hint – Just say yes, everyone like sharks

Yes I like The Sharks. I used to train with them when I lived in Durban. Ok who am I kidding [me, exercise? Hahahahaha!], I’d circle the weight training area of Virgin Active, having a good perve at the boys pumping their muscles.

Oh, you weren’t referring to the rugby team. Hmmm, sharks … well I’m always told there’s plenty of fish in the sea but all I ever catch are the fucking sharks. *sobs uncontrollably*

7.   What was the best gift anyone ever gave you?

 Life. Too cliched. Diamonds. Too shallow. Uh, I’m going to go with the Marilyn tattoo I received as a birthday present last year. Two of my favourite things – MM and Ink – all in one.

8.  If any dead persons ghost could haunt your house, who would you want it to be?

You even have to ask??? Madame Marilyn. Sigh, I’d never leave home.

9.  What one thing makes you truly happy?

Music. People are a continual disappointment, but music never lets me down.

10.   A large asteroid is about to kill all life on the planet. You can loot anyplace you want for luxury items to enjoy briefly before you die. What are you going to grab?

Sandton City Store U26, I’m coming for you.

Finally –

11.  You can choose between either watching your parents have sex everyday for the rest of their lives or join in once and never see it again. Pick one ( the most creative answer will get me to tell them the story of how I got asked that question)

Now do you see why I refer to Jack as sick, evil and twisted???

Well my parents are divorced so they don’t have sex … with each other, so I am exempt from answering this question.

*phew … I found a loophole*


And because I still really don’t want to write about my *sob* weekend, the next post will be my nominations together with the eleven questions I wish them to answer.