We returned to the lounge where we alternated between dancing, drinking and standing in front of the large mirror, in various poses together as if on a photo shoot – move over David and Victoria! [I know, I know; who does crazy shit like that?!] This would inevitably lead to a serious make-out session, with us returning to my boudoir to roll around the bed like a couple of love-struck teenagers.
Except that I am not love-struck and I am far from a teenager. As tempting as it was to engage in what could possibly have been the greatest sex of my life, my heart just wasn’t in it. So whilst other organs were begging for a union with Fabian, I knew that my attraction to him was purely physical and that just wasn’t enough reason to do the dirty.
Who are you and what have you done with Harmony?
And make no bloody mistake, I am extremely attracted to His Royal Hotness. So much so that when we converse I can barely concentrate on anything that he is saying as I am too busy perving at every facial feature, his fine form and well, every fucking thing about him. Everything physical that is.
But emotionally? Nothing. Nada. Not even a blip on the radar. I don’t know if it is him personally or whether my heart is so damaged from my affair with B…astard that I’m incapable of feeling anything … all I know is that my emotions are numb.
I honestly don’t see this dalliance going very far or getting very serious; as I want so much more than just an attractive man by my side and in my bed. So whilst it’s wonderful for the ego to have such a fine specimen wanting to be with me [ME? Why me? I’m still waiting for the penny to drop.] I am just not mentally or emotionally stimulated whatsoever.
I desire picnics in the park with my lover, reciting Rumi and feeding each other ripe strawberries. I want to discuss quantum physics and lucid dreaming and conduct Angel Card readings for each other. I would much rather have a spiritual connection with someone than a physical connection, that much I am sure of.
So be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it; all my recent hankering for The Stripper and other hotties has proved that! However it’s time for me to start fine tuning my messages to The Universe, because someone is clearly listening!