If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.
How do you know me??? Seriously!
Read it? I’d write it! I’d even star in the movie adaptation!
Hell I read my horoscope every morning without fail:
Time flies when you’re having fun, Leo, so today should fly by for you. From the moment you wake up in the morning you should feel a special kind of positive energy surrounding you – and you should feel really good about it. You complete old business with ease, and accomplish new tasks with great vigor. If there is a special goal you would like to add to your list of things to today, this is a great time for it. You will find that success is within easy reach for you for the next few days.
I also faithfully follow a divine website which provides me with a very in-depth monthly report on the upcoming events of my life.
Add that to last years visit to the psychologist / hypnotherapist for my past life regression session and I guess you could say I have a slight obsession with knowing what’s going to happen to me in this life [and others].
So to actually get my grubby little French manicured paws on a book about my life – oh em gee! I think I’ve died and gone to heaven! [ok, so maybe I’d have to wait for that to actually happen to find out the details of my life, but hey … let a girl dream!]
The Book would obviously have to be released in several instalments, after all I lead such an exciting life [wink wink] … but instead of them being released chronologically, I’d love for them to be published by genre. That way there will always still be an element of surprise.
The action book wouldn’t quite live up to a Tom Clancy novel, but I’ve survived a kidnapping or two and I’ve had my fair share of Glocks and AK47’s pointed in my direction. Add in a dodgy drug dealing Nigerian or two and Bob’s your Uncle – a riveting action is reading for downloading to your Kindle.
My childhood in no way rivalled that of Greg Heffley, so the funny book would be pretty slim – no thicker than a comic book – and will contain a few of my embarrassing moments. [OMG remember when I looked out my bathroom window thinking I was chatting to my fiancé but it was actually a neighbour – and I was naked at the time!]
Drama. Sigh. Let’s just say that I would give Marcel Proust heavy competition. As this and all my previous blogs will attest to. I’m certainly no Drama Queen [as much as I’d love to be royalty]; however I certainly do seem to be a drama magnet. Either that or Trouble is my middle name, and not XXX as I was lead to believe.
Hmmm, what other genre would be a best-seller? Well most of my previous relationships would give anything Mr King has scribed a run for his money; so that takes care of horrror.
There would be plenty of bonkblusters coming out [pardon the pun] that would make Jackie Collins books read like kiddie’s bedtime stories. But wouldn’t be it refreshing to have a leading role in a fairytale … to have the final words in the book read …
… and they lived happily ever after.
Because dammit I’m sick and tired of the surprises and not knowing what or who is waiting around the next corner; but alas, the future pages are still blank and as Natasha Bedingfield says:
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten