PART ONE – Prelude to a Laugh
PART TWO – I may not be eating donkeys but I sure am dating asses

THE FINAL FABIAN EPISODE

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23:37 Fabian: Hello

Blondie: Fuck this afternoon the pushing of ur head down [this refers to the relating of the Divine Brown incident] was hysterical but the coat hangers is unforgettable – u with ur clever reply of u only have plastics yet mr thinks he can still unlock the car door with a thick piece of plastic

Harmony: Bwahahaha! I’m gonna wet the bed!

Blondie: I can also just imagine what u must be thinking of him right now

Harmony: If I rolled my eyes back any further someone would call an exorcist

Blondie: Its actually becoming off putting now all his stupid messages of hello, what u doing, how u – fuck man!

Harmony: Like you say, Star is 18 and he has NEVER been stranded

Blondie: The drugs and steroids must have fucked and damaged his brain

Harmony: Totally, absolutely and most positively
Harmony: I just HAD to tell you!

Blondie: No bok this dude is a loser man! Oh and is there gonna be hell with the life coach tonite?

Harmony: Bwahahahaha! She’s gonna fuck him up!

Blondie: Can u imagine the scene now in that car park and mr checking the time coz he has to be home by 12
Blondie: Good – he’s got it coming to him!

Harmony: And he’s shitting himself by now
Harmony: And it’s earlier during the week

Blondie: And he must be cursing u under his breath

Harmony: I think its 11pm
Harmony: Who the fuck has a curfew???

Blondie: A man of 37?
Blondie: He he – she probably has reason to treat him the way she does. He behaves like a teenager

Harmony: I know! Talk about a handful! I’d rather have a 2 year old
Harmony: This dude also runs around without pants on!

Blondie: What u mean?
Blondie: Runs around where?
Blondie: With underpant?

Harmony: Well enough to take a photo of his dick!

Blondie: U aint ever gonna let him forget that hay?

Harmony: Fok it bok, this dude has set a record for shocking me

Blondie: Doll I really think out of all ur guys u had, this one is the one that is doing the worst

Harmony: And the most messed up
Harmony: Omg I was already so off him this afternoon, now I’m just disgusted … With myself

Blondie: No don’t be – u finally getting to see the real person

Harmony: And HOW!

Blondie: And I know what u get like when u start going off a dude
Blondie: It aint pretty
Blondie: No chick this one takes the cake. I think he’ll harass u for months to come still

Harmony: He better not!

Blondie: If u knew what u know now I’d be like “all girls in The Hood want him?” With absolute pleasure

Harmony: Oh yes, they’re welcome to him!
Harmony: Thank you but nooooooooo thank you
Harmony: I’ll pass

Blondie: Nothing more off putting than a guy that isn’t just a little smart

Harmony: And so arrogant. Actually thought it FINE to get hold me to go help him

Blondie: Incredibly thick skinned – shame, probably doesn’t know any better

Harmony: Oh no, I can’t. I absolutely cannnot!
Harmony: He must still be stranded cos he just went on whatsapp

Blondie: Oh god duck and dive Harmony

Harmony: I’ll just ignore

Blondie: Ja best thing, unless u really wanna go help him;)

Harmony: Now he sends one …

Blondie: Oh no
Blondie: What?

23:37 Fabian: Don’t stress sorry my babes got the car open

Harmony: Do I look stressed???

Blondie: My babes? My babes?
Blondie: This man is not healthy

Harmony: He gets 10/10 for determination

Blondie: Mark my words this man is gonna stress u for months to come
Blondie: Fuck for a change we laughing at ur love life and not my silly choices I made

Harmony: Hahaha! True! My turn!

You would think that me ignoring his messages last night would have given him a hint of how I felt. However judging by this morning’s BBM’s, he actually thinks I give a shit.

06:55 Fabian: Hello
07:44 Fabian: Got locked out the house again, can you believe it.
09:38 Fabian: Hello

How about GOODBYE and GOOD RIDDANCE!