Here is what my investigations have uncovered about not-so-Fab so far [HIM is back in business bitches!]:
Fabian is indeed living with his life coach and family [yay for one nugget of truth!]. The Life Coach [hereinafter referred to as LC] being a female one year older than me,;and her family, being her three sons. Please note the lack of husband / fiance or boyfriend in this family.
He began therapy with her sometime during the latter part of last year whilst he was still involved with a prior girlfriend [not of my friends, just FYI], having biweekly sessions. This now ex-girlfriend even accused him of having an affair with his LC – an accusation which he vehemently denied.
In November, the girlfriend out of the picture by now; LC suggested Fabian move in with her temporarily, to fast track his treatment and get him back on his feet.
He was living with Neville at the time but they’d just had a hug bust-up. Neville was arrested with various charges laid against him by Fabian and he naturally moved out. Fabian therefore couldn’t afford the rental on his own, so this was a perfect solution.
Fabian was given his own room in the large house [four blocks from mine], however not long after he moved into her house they became romantically, or should I say sexually involved.
Whether as his lover or life coach; she laid down the law and there were certain rules he had to abide by, whilst living under her roof.
* Take anti booze medication every day
* No drinking alcohol
* No taking drugs
* No going out to clubs / pubs / bars
* No having friends over
[he had friends over once, for his birthday in December; but because they got trashed, she forbid any further visitors]
Fast forward to January 2013. Fabian goes out with Robert for the first time since being on lock down. Fabian meets Harmony and they hit it off. Fabian doesn’t go home that weekend because he knows LC won’t let him back in the house as he is drunk [and she refused to give him a key to the house] – so he goes home with Harmony and stays for the weekend – as with every consecutive weekend for the following five weeks.
So this explains why he could never sleep over during the week and had to be home by a certain time. It also explains why he was with me every weekend. Not so much because he really wanted to be, but because he didn’t have a home to return to as he was always drunk.
I’m not saying he didn’t like me; hello, I’m fucking fabulous! What’s not to like? But he was in no way looking for a relationship [thank you Robert, you did warn me]; and I was more of a convenience than anything else.
That being said, he did attempt to extricate himself from the relationship with her a few weeks ago, and had stopped sleeping with her. She then accused him of being gay [she couldn't fathom another reason for him not wanting to sleep with her] and they fought constantly – hence he began looking for a new place.
Now whilst I lay the blame squarely at Fabian’s door for how he has treated me; on a separate issue … what the fuck was a life coach doing getting involved with a ‘patient’??? Yes I know she is not a psychologist, psychiatrist or other medical practitioner, but for fuck sakes! Your job is to help the person, not help yourself to the person.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve garnered to date; and I am still awaiting further information regarding this past weekend’s activities and the alleged assault. I have my theories, however I prefer to work with the FACTS.
Talk about a fucking comedy of errors!
NOTE TO MEN: I may be slow on the uptake, and extremely naive and gullible; but once I put my mind to finding out your story – not much will get in my way.
NOTE TO SELF: conduct investigations prior to getting involved with the guy, Jussaying.
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Where do you find these jerks?
My hood.
I think we need to find you a new hood
concur…
I’m moving in with YOU!
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What a dick! It actually sounds like she is his mum/ lover which in itself is a sick combination….Babe, you don’t need this shit and he needs help….not shagging the help! FUCK!
There ‘relationship’ actually sickens me to my stomach – very unhealthy – but that’s their business not mine. And you’re right, he needs help, the problem is the person who is supposed to be helping him is actually making him more fucked up. But again, NOT MY PROBLEM.
Holy fuckerolly what an absolute prick (and I am referring to both the life coach and Fabian).
Harmony, you are right – do your detective work first – will save a lot of hurt later.
I say again, you are too nice and too much of a softie (even though you may not think so) and these arseholes take advantage of you!
Grrr!
Aren’t they a right pair!? WTF? They can have each other, gladly.
As Flim rightly pointed out below, it’s difficult to do much investigations in the beginning as you need to get to know them, and their friends …
*evil laugh* – his BF – actually 3 of his friends have a crush on me, so it wasn’t difficult getting info out of them *another evil laugh*
And here’s the ‘best part’ – he phoned me this morning, I NEVER used to get calls from him, only messages – asking why I’m not talking to him and why I don’t message him anymore. Seriously? Seriously! Argh!
My problem is my naivety in that I only see the good in people, even when their fatal flaws are staring me in the face, I choose to focus on their good. Fuck it, I need to become a hell of a lot more realistic because I’m sick and tired of being used and taken advantage of
These stories are everywhere it seems. The world is flooded with cockroaches masquerading as well-intentioned people who lie to use. Often, its very difficult to do investigations before you meet them because in order to do so information is required and these schmucks are cagey about allowing too much info out (the clever ones). I cannot recommend a viable solution, other than to say that in my experience if its too good to be true it usually is and if he loves you there’s no lies and long-winded drama story (especially when you first meet him).
“cockroaches masquerading as well-intentioned people who lie to use” – so perfectly put Flim!
You’re right, impossible to ‘screen’ them before hand as you need to known them, as well as other sources such as friends and family for further interrogation.
I had a feeling right in the beginning that something was off and that this wasn’t for me, I really really shouldn’t listened to my gut and ended it before it really began – couldn’t saved myself the frustration.
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How feeble does one have to be to need a coach for running your life?
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